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People asking "what's wrong?" when there's nothing wrong

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Devil Dave, Apr 16, 2017.

  1. Devil Dave

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    Does it ever happen to you?

    You'll just be having a calm and thoughtful moment and people react as if you're traumatized from some horrible experience and ask you "what's wrong? what's the matter? what's happened?"

    and you give a puzzled look and say "nothing, i'm fine" and they say "yes it is, what's wrong? You're not being your usual cheerful self" and they persist and insist that something is wrong with you and that you must tell them what it is before you go home and do something drastic.

    I mean, just because someone is not smiling and laughing does not mean they are upset about something. So why invent a problem about it? If I'm crying you can ask me what's wrong. If I look to be physically in pain then you can ask me what's wrong, or if I have snapped at someone angrily, then you ask me what's bothering me and what is causing me to act in that way. But if I'm just being calm and thoughtful and not bothering anyone, then don't bother me. Quite reasonable, don't you think?
     
  2. Andrew99

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    Yes. Just because I look glum doesn't mean I'm actually glum I could just be on pause.
     
  3. DreamerBoy17

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    I tend to zone out a lot and get lost in thoughts or daydreams and people seem to think something is wrong. Heck, at least they care about me! :slight_smile:
     
  4. YoungMountain

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    This happens to me a lot. Apparently, my neutral face looks sad. It can be annoying, but I'm glad the people who ask me if I'm okay want me to be happy.
     
  5. Simple Thoughts

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    I have what is commonly reffered to as "Resting Bitch face" and so people always think I'm upset or grumpy when I'm actually just totally neutral at the moment or lost in my thoughts. Luckily, they don't complain about it too much at work though I have had a boss and the occasional customer tell me I should smile more. I can't really though, for some reason my body language is incapable of dishonesty I only smile when I genuinely feel happy or something is funny. I can't fake it.
     
  6. ThatBorussenGuy

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    This happens to me sometimes. Just the other night I had someone ask me what I was mad about, when all I was doing is thinking. Apparently I get this "look" on my face when I'm thinking and it makes me look pissed off. Or when people presume there's something wrong just because I'm not talking. A couple of years ago I went out of state for my uncle's funeral, and this one guy who is a friend of someone else in my family asked me if there was something wrong just because I wasn't involved in the conversation. I didn't have anything to say (and I was working on a piece of art), and if I have nothing to say, I don't get into the conversation. I'm not a small-talk kind of guy. But apparently because I don't talk much and seem to have a permanent case of Resting Bitch Face people seem to think there's something wrong.
     
  7. Browncoat

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    I've had people mistakenly assume something's wrong when it's not, but I've never had someome call me a liar when I corrected them. Sheesh!
     
  8. Reciprocal

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    This lady at my school tells me every morning that I look pale. One day I snapped at her and said "That's called being Caucasian!" but she still says it as if I'm ill. Really annoys me, especially as she's the only person ever to point it out (except the one time I actually was pale due to illness).
     
  9. deepwaters7

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    This use to happen all the time, but now I find the opposite occurs. Strange
     
  10. Kodo

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    My usual face seems apathetic, thoughtful, arrogant, or "down." So I am told.
     
  11. KnucklesNation

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    I get that a lot when I'm in 'chill mode'. I don't smile all of the time, that'd hurt.. but at the same time I like they care enough to ask if I'm okay when they notice peculiar behavior in me.
     
  12. Devil Dave

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    I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences this.

    Thing is, if I think somebody else seems upset or pissed off, I'll stay out of their way. I don't want to be on the receiving end of whatever they're going through. I don't mind people asking me if something's wrong, but I don't like it when they press me. Then I will actually get pissed off and snap at them. Which I don't like doing.

    If I think you seem down, I might say "is everything ok?" and if you say "yes I'm fine" then I'll leave you alone. You want me to think you're fine, and that's what I'll believe. If I think you're in a bad mood but it's not affecting your work or anything, then I won't press you and make you to the point of snapping. I won't ask again unless I've noticed that you really do seem down and it has been going on for a long time or is frequently occurring.

    I also believe that no matter how chatty and bubbly and cheerful you normally are, you're entitled to have a quiet moment now and then, so I'm not going to intrude on your thoughts. It's not my place to decide what you should be feeling and thinking.
     
  13. Ljjgreat2017

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    I have heard comments like this for a while. I have heard people tell me comments like, "you never smile", "you look so serious", "you look unhappy", "you look sad", and other similar comments. I get very irritated when people say these comments to me. One time, this guy who I barely spoke said "you look like you don't smile a lot." I replied, "What do you mean?". Then he replied, "you always look serious". I was very pissed off.

    I get very irritated when things like this happen.
     
  14. Devil Dave

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    It's one thing when people such as friends, relatives and colleagues say it when they have regular contact with you, but people you hardly ever see is another. I find it incredibly rude and arrogant. If there's a person I see once every couple of weeks or so, for like a few minutes, then what is it to them how my mood seems at the time? Do I care what they're going through? Do I care what they're thinking and feeling? Do I comment on their mannerisms or question their moods? No. What gives them the right to be over-familiar?

    And if they are actually interested in me and want to get to know me better, then making comments like that is not a good way to do it. Try opening with something positive, or fuck off. If you want to see me smile, give me a reason to smile. Say something nice or funny. Don't just point out that I'm not smiling, because I'm not here for your entertainment.
     
  15. Eyerene

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    Some people are just plain terrible at reading facial expressions and body language. Those are the types of people that insist that you're upset when you're not.

    I personally have never had this issue, but that's more because most people find me intimidating and I have 1 friend. I do have other times where others just are completely unable to read my facial expressions, but no one has really ever asked me if something is wrong when I'm not actually upset.
     
  16. tranonymous

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    Yup, that's me too.
     
  17. PlantSoul

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    I use to get this only when I was very upset. It seems I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions back then. Just try not to look upset and everything should be good.
     
  18. Awesome

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    It happens to me a lot because I sometimes need to take a break from socializing and I have very expressive eyebrows. I think I subconsciously squint my eyebrows when I'm tired. People worrying about me makes me feel extremely guilty. I feel like my most commonly used phrase is "I'm fine."
     
  19. Ljjgreat2017

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    Thanks. I appreciate the support and feedback.