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Parents don't want me to come out but..

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GhostOfRazgriz, Oct 26, 2014.

  1. GhostOfRazgriz

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    Hi everyone! So I came out to my parents completely about a year and a half ago, and they still aren't taking it well. They say I'm too imature to be making these kinds of decisions about who I am, gender-wise, even though I'm going to be 18 in February. So when I talked about coming out to everyone to them, they weren't really thrilled. My pa is super conservative and so he doesn't believe that being transgender is legitimate at all. My mom is a bit more liberal, and so she's sometimes supportive of me, but only when its just the two of us. Officially she's against it, and I know she still hopes it isn't true. :frowning2:

    Anyway, so I want to come out, but my parents are against it. They tell me it's because they're scared I'll get bullied, but I also feel they're scared or even embarrassed of people knowing they have a transgendered child. But the thing is, I realize that by coming out to the public, I will receive negative attention from some kids in school. Our school is pretty liberal, there's a couple of people out sexuality-wise without receiving too much hassle. However, I know that transwomen are a lot less accepted by people. But I'm okay with the bullying. I've been bullied really badly in the past for acting different, and I made it. And I'd rather be bullied than have to wear a facade everyday. I'm in my last year in highschool, and I already missed my last chance to go to a homecoming dance because I would never go to one in a suit but I couldn't wear a dress. It bugged me a lot because I was denied something that most normal highschool kids get to experience because I was in the closet.

    I'm tired of hiding, and it's starting to show. My mask is starting to crack.. I feel like I'm going to come out soon, regardless of what they say. I know they won't disown me. They might punish me in another way, but they won't kick me out of the house. They'll probably going to be pissed. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been in this boat before. Also, is this a good idea? I feel like I should have the right to choose, but I know that this will probably disrupt the family dynamics in my house significantly. But I feel like I need to do this.
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    You do not mentioned them lacking support for you, just that they do not agree. Are there other risks that exist which you have not mentioned?

    If not, I am not really sure their concerns should stop you from doing what you feel you need to do. You are old enough to be establishing the direction you want you life to go in and it's up to you to take that on.
     
  3. ForNarnia

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    Are you already out sexuality-wise? If not, that may be the best place to start. That way you can see how people react and decide if you're ready to tell everyone, rather than throwing yourself in at the deep end and hoping for the best. :slight_smile: xxxx
     
  4. antibinary

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    Try your sexuality as a trial run, then go from there.
     
  5. GhostOfRazgriz

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    Thank you for the replies, everyone. I feel coming out wth my sexuality is definitely a good way to test the waters. That's a good idea, and I can't believe I didn't think about that. I'm guessing there's probably a buffer period of a couple of months I should wait out after coming out as pan before I should come all the way out. That's okay though, I can still be out before I graduate, like I feel like I need to be.
    Thank you so much for the advice, everyone! :grin: