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Parent of transgender MtF

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by marcia, Sep 27, 2017.

  1. marcia

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Swarthmore, PA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Last night I learned my son began taking MtF hormones. While this might be the right path for him. I am concerned that this is a sudden and permanent decision. How I do I bring up my concerns while remaining supportive. He said things like he was, "Just trying it out for a few months, I am not sure. I do not want to present as female." A year ago he saw a therapist at LBGQT center for six visits and is not seeing a therapist now. He is 20. This is a big decision. Please advise
     
  2. Chiroptera

    Admin Team Full Member

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    Hey marcia, and welcome to Empty Closets!

    Being trans isn't a decision, but, certainly, starting the transition is a huge step, which can be extremely positive if managed correctly.

    Other members may assist me on this answer as i am not an expert, but, as far as i know, part of the transition would include him/her seeing a therapist, to ensure that everything is going the right way (and that the hormones are being used correctly). As this study states, hormone therapy for transgender individuals has been shown in medical literature to be safe when supervised by a qualified medical professional.

    He/she may not be ready to fully come out to you yet (did you discover it by accident, by the way?), so it may be a delicate situation to talk about. But, in my opinion, it would be good to talk to him/her. First, you can show your support (which is extremely important, especially coming from a parent). With that clear, it is important to talk about how this hormone therapy is being conducted: If there is a professional helping, etc. If not, it may be interesting to look for a LGBT friendly medical professional that can help with this, to avoid any health complications.
     
  3. Samantha D

    Regular Member

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    One thing that may help you comprehend his/her decision to pursue HRT may be to look back on any feminine qualitys he/she had in the past. These bits of evidence vary from person to person so it isn't always a reliable method, but can sometimes just help you understand that it isn't a decision to be trans. An example of an obvious sign is from me; I use to dress up as dorthy from the wizard of Oz in preschool and than as the wicked witch for Halloween in 2nd grade. (I never dressed up as a man for Halloween). But some may be more subtle, like preferring more feminine sitting positions.