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Painful Acceptance

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Gayhusband, Sep 12, 2020.

  1. Gayhusband

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    I’m sorry! The denial, the deceit, the deception. I’m gay. I can’t apologize about being gay. I can no longer hate myself for being
     
  2. Andrew7

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    Why would you feel the need to? Is it because you're married? Sounds pretty tough.
     
  3. Hemant

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    Did you marry while knowing you were gay or were you not confident about your sexual orientation at that time?
     
  4. quebec

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    Gayhusband.....You do not need to apologize for hiding who you really are. Our society has done that to us and I am sorry that you've had to endure it. You haven't told us very much about yourself and your situation. If you feel comfortable with sharing a little more, I'm sure that we could do a better job of encouraging and supporting you. There are a lot of us here on Empty Closets who have been where it sounds like you are. We do want to help. Remember, you are a part of our LGBTQ+ Family and we do care! Please stay with us here on Empty Closets...keep us updated our how you are doing...we want to be here for you in any way that we can.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  5. Gayhusband

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    I knew I was very aroused by men/ boys when I was in junior high. It’s been a struggle ever since. I’ve very slowly been coming to terms with the fact that I’m gay. Not bisexual, as I’ve tried to tell my wife and myself. Gay! I want to explore. I’ve had the best sex of my life with men. I always felt horrible/ashamed after ejaculation when having gay sex when I was younger. Now I‘m feeling the shame of hiding my sexuality from myself as well as my wife. I’m looking at the upside. After basically two and a half decades of closet life, I’m done pretending. I’m gay and I love it
     
  6. Gayhusband

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    Yes, it’s because I’m married and have a child. Oh ya, and my wife is an angel (most of the time)
     
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  7. Contented

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    I completely understand this feeling on all levels. Not until I was 50 however did I have my first gay sexual experience and it was unbelievable. It was like nothing I ever experienced with a woman by a huge margin. I loved it and knew I needed to free myself to explore gay sexuality totally. I stopped all pretending and role playing hetero embracing the gay me. I love being gay like yourself and wouldn’t go back even unlikely situation if I had the opportunity. Gay is so so much better.
     
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  8. PeterWI

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    I've been there and I can relate. I was married briefly as well before I came out, and have had some problems trying to convince myself I was bi. In the end, we have no choice but to accept who we are and live it.
     
  9. KeLeWi

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    I was married for over 30 years before I had the courage to accept and admit my sexual orientation. Luckily, my children and ex-wife have been very supportive so far, although there are still moments of tension. I am very glad that you have accepted the true you, as now you can let go of the fear and guilt that have burdened you. Best of luck to you on your journey. It's time for you to live your authentic life.
     
  10. Gayhusband

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    Thank you very much. It’s a struggle and I need support
     
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  11. KeLeWi

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    You have my support.
     
  12. thespian07

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    I can relate to your story. I am bisexual and have lived all my adult life as straight. Married for 15 years with two kids, I reached my very limits this past summer and came out to my wife a couple of days ago out of guilt and not pride as she could not understand why I wanted to separate and wouldn't even consider giving it another try. It's been an emotional roller coaster but I am hopeful that I can now live a more peaceful and fulfilling life. This is your life and you get to decide where to take it. Be strong and know that nothing can be changed until it is faced. Best of luck