Hey everyone, So I've been out to my family for almost eight months now, and they were a bit surprised at first but they are very supportive and love me all the same. I'm reaching the point now where I've become more comfortable with my sexuality, and I'm ready to stop hiding it from people and start expressing it in daily life. It's something I'm proud of and more than anything right now I want to be free, I don't want to have to hide it from anyone. I just want to be myself. My dad (who I have a great relationship with) does not want me to express my sexuality to others. He says it's something that I just don't need to show off and I can keep it to myself and close friends. But he doesn't understand how hard it is to keep in and how much guilt and shame it's causing me to hide. I want to reach the point where anyone can know about my sexuality and I won't even care, because it's not a big deal to me. It's very hard to continue moving forward when my dad constantly brings up how he doesn't want me "carrying a pride flag" or letting everyone know I'm gay. I love him so much but he hurts me when he talks like my sexuality is something to hide. He also has now started telling me that same-sex relationships can be dangerous because some gay people are very controlling, etc etc. It's like he's tying me to a stereotype and trying to understand me that way. I want to tell him everything that's happening in my life but I'm afraid he's going to drag me back into the closet and make me feel more guilt and pain than I can take. Does anyone have any advice on how I can keep our close relationship while still protecting my true self and my journey? Has anyone experienced anything similar? Any responses are appreciated
Hey there NickiFire. As you already know I came out to my mother as gay just a few days ago, but the concept of me being attracted to women was known to her for years but she wasn't very receptive when I wanted to talk about it. Like your father, she keeps advising me to not let others know I'm gay. She says it's something personal and it's no one's business plus people could use it against me and that could get me in trouble. The thing is that what she says is not far-fetched because over here lgbt rights are a new concept and homophobia is still quite high. This means that if people know you're gay you might be in danger in public spaces. I don't want to feel like I'm carrying a dirty secret either, but I also know I'm not ready for the certain backlash, but it may not be as bad as I imagine it to be. I'm preparing myself for it. I think growing some thick skin in necessary.
