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Overall, how do you view people?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tightrope, Mar 16, 2024.

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Overall, how do you view people at this point in your life?

Poll closed May 15, 2024.
  1. Mostly positively

    6 vote(s)
    27.3%
  2. Neutrally

    6 vote(s)
    27.3%
  3. Mostly negatively

    5 vote(s)
    22.7%
  4. Something else - add explanation

    5 vote(s)
    22.7%
  1. Tightrope

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    This doesn't have anything to do with the present or the recent past. It's more about the last 5 or 10 years.

    In general, how do you feel about other people? This could be shaped by your experiences as a whole or maybe you stick to a philosophy despite those experiences.

    I'm going to go with a mostly negative vote. It's slightly more negative than positive. You can't replace people you have met who you enjoy being around without ulterior motives. This happens more when you're in school or you go off to work. It can happen later, but it's not as common.

    I've seen that more people have an agenda on how they want to steer a friendship. They want to do less work than you do, like flaking out or not being there when you need their help with something. Sometimes it's because they have addictions they need to nurse that might keep them from showing up or cause them to flake out. They might want to gain something from you. Now, there are even more problems with politics and religion that cause people to part ways. If your mental health is a little compromised, this definitely doesn't help,
     
  2. tearingtherose

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    I think in the general I'm neutral and hope for the best but suspect the worst. When I was in hospital last Easter with a life threatening illness, I quickly learned who cared about me and who didn't. A handful of friends became closer friends, close friends mostly remained so but many people simply no longer register to me, including me so-called wife. I think very positively of my self selected close friends, and they've been my rocks this past year, and I think negatively of all I once thought were.
     
  3. Rayland

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    For me it has been positive and negative. There have been negative people, who have made my mental health worse (I don't talk about the people in the forum here). I think it's all about keeping healthy boundaries and being mindful and communicating your feelings too. My friend tends to vent a lot to me, so I do try to keep a boundary there. I tend to vent too much online though, so I'm afraid that everyone have had enough of me, but sometimes I cannot help it, since there is nowhere else I can do it. Recently I think I meddle too much and I get anxious that people hate me, even though it might not be true. I'm a lonely person, so it all makes me feel even lonelier. I do grave for connecting with others more deeper, but when I try, then it creates more conflicts and worries than I can deal with and it makes me feel like I'm not meant to connect other people. I do think people care, but there are times they don't know how to support you best or what exactly do you need and our negative thoughts can cloud our judgement too, like many other things.
     
  4. Tritri

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    I hope this doesn't derail the conversation, but I'm a bit misanthropic for political reasons. The biggest one is that humans are destroying the environment with little care.
    Outside of that, I've always had terrible social skills and never connected deeply with more than a handful of people outside my family, so that doesn't help me like people either.
     
  5. Bludzee

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    I'm neutral about people I don't know. I have meet some truly awful person but also incredible human being whom I cherish and love. I can't be too pessimistic about people because I know so many people who are selfless, generous, helpful, kind, funny, and who seems to truly care about me. When I get to be close to someone we usually have a really deep bound. And I'm happy about it. I'll forever be grateful for having those amazing friends and I hope they think the same of me.
    Of course, I have meet people who have hurt me, insult me, despise me, who have made my mental state worst and worst. I won't forgive them but I don't hate them either. I know that some politics and ideas that people can follow are dangerous. I know some people are just bad, and for a political and ecological standpoint, I honestly think we're doomed. There's good and bad, and I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by the good.
     
  6. Littavhvert

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    To be frank, it depends on which country and culture we are talking about here. Some countries have values which are more compatible with mine, that I'm agreeing more with and I think is better at following the international human rights. Other countries are the opposite, and we got all the in betweens.

    I often gets a better first impression of people living in a modern democratic country and that is higher ranked on the happiness list. Why? Because people who lives in these countries often contributed to what the society looks like and support the culture, law and ethics. I lives in a country where it's expected of people to care about other people's well being. People tends to be polite, friendly and more open about mental health. People also tends to care about the poor, the minorities etc. Even the laws reflects that. E.g. having affordable healthcare and education, gender equality, LGBT+ rights, humane prisons and a low crime rate. Most people also wants to be friends to be friends, not for money or anything like that. But there are times people are incompatible and therefor the friendships doesn't last. Sometimes you needs to make new friends that are more compatible with your personality. Some cultures are better at balancing the individualistic and collective parts in my opinion.

    Of course there are good, bad and everyone in between people in all countries. I would be more comfortable in some countries than others and more likely to trust people who supports the international human rights. If I lived in a country with a high crime rate, homophobia, racism and sexism, I would be more careful which kind of people I spent time with. To me the world seems 50/50 when it comes to how much good and bad that exist generally speaking, but I believe some countries are luckier and have more goodness than others. Some countries also have higher living standards that may be a combination of ethics, morals, culture, environment and luck vs bad luck. Ethics and morals are subjective. I have my opinions about what is right and wrong.
     
  7. orca85

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    I don't like people generally.
    I stay on my own. I don't have nor want friends.
    I don't even speak to family that much.
    most people are cringe. I accept I'm not perfect either.
    most people are shifty, liars or flakey. or they plot against you merely since you did something that they dislike, and perhaps very silly and that highlighted their own insecurities and quirks.
    I consider it's pretty women who do this. they are pretty uppity generally. they reckon the world is about them. It's not that they live in the world but they assume an upper hand. i mainly avoid them, no matter their gender identity/sexual orientation, since they're all the same.
     
  8. Canterpiece

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    You know, this might fly in the face of well, everything. I mean, I've met some characters in my life. Horrible individuals.

    I should, by all accounts, probably be in a pit of despair and hate everyone by now. Yet, I've weirdly been feeling more positive about life lately. I think it took my life imploding for me to step back and have a think.

    It's such a vague question though, isn't it? I think everyone certainly believes themselves to be the hero of their own story. Whether or not they are, well, that's a more complicated matter.

    Philosophy is always purposefully so vague. Are people good? Are people bad? Yes. Because the world is everything. It's morbid, it's wholesome, it's scary, it's safe.

    Are more people good than bad? Well, that's an ill-defined question. I think it's dangerous to think of ourselves as purely good because I think we all have the potential for evil. If we think of ourselves as inherently good, then we're not stopping to question potentially negative bias and behaviours. We all have bias. We do not exist in a vacuum. We are shaped by our experiences and situations but we are also not solely defined by them. We can reflect and grow and change. To an extent. Some people are beyond development though. That has to be earnt and forgiveness is not always a given. People have to be remorseful and to actually put in the work to change in order to gain forgiveness.
     
  9. BiCavalier

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    I think most people want to think positively and some folks definitely do. I feel that I am generally a positive person.

    Negativity can get the best of us. We are hared wired with a survival instinct that looks for threats and risks. This has the effect of focusing our attention to the negative. It also draws our attention to negative outside influences within social media and mainstream media. That's why negativity sells. If someone declares something a threat or a risk to us or someone we care about, it immediately draws our attention, even if it is not a direct threat.
     
  10. JT1999

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    Mostly positive. There are definitely people to be avoided, and its better to surround yourself with people who are positive minded. It's something I've gotten a bit more conscious about as I've gotten older. Negativity for its own sake isn't an attractive trait. I try and make the best of what I can control and not worry too much about the things that I can't.
     
  11. Mihael

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    I'm surprised how many mean-spirited narrow-minded people are out there. Who would go out of their way to be bring someone down, because they view the world as a game and a fight. It never crossed my mind someone can be so many people are preoccupied with making it all about winning. I feel disillusioned about it, I always thought "bad" people want to be good, but have the wrong idea of what "good" is, not that they act out of pure spite.
     
  12. Jelle

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    Mostly positively, but it takes me a bit of observing before forming an ultimate opinion.
     
  13. Tightrope

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    There sure are, even though there are genuine people out there and it's a breath of fresh air to find them.

    For most of these people, I think it's because "hurt people hurt."
     
  14. thomKC83

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    There was quite a bit healing and self-reflection that got me to the place of "hurt people hurt people." There was a portion of my life where I was... not kind. It was only when I started to unwind that history and those experiences that I came to a place where I could be "good."

    So, I don't begrudge the terrible. Though, I view most people with suspicion, I understand now where that comes from, I understand that very few people wake up each day to do harm to other people. The harm people cause, the rationale for those actions, are often nuanced. So, when I can, when I'm in the right space, I ask those people, "what's wrong?" "what do you need?" instead of rejecting them outright for their... behaviors.
     
  15. BiCavalier

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    Everybody has to work things out in their own space. We don't have the perfect answers to every question or perfect reactions to every situation. Our feelings and opinions evolve over time and we often come to different conclusions. Some changes can be subtle and some more extreme. As I have gotten older, I think that I have a much greater capacity for empathy and a need to understand and see things from other points of view. I try to be more patient and open, while thinking about being in the other person's shoes.
     
  16. Jahiem

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    Mostly positive, It takes me a bit of time to warm up to someone because i am scoping them out and seeing if they are decent or not. I think with years and years of dealing with people i know what to look for in friendships and relationships.
     
  17. tallslenderguy

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    Ha, i think this is a cool survey, discussion!

    i voted "other," and found it curious how evenly balanced the voting was... virtually even between all the choices?

    my initial thought was: "inconsistently," but then, as i thought about it, that "inconsistency" is based on the differences on how people present and how i perceive their presentation?

    i work as a critical care nurse, so i experience a lot of people in vulnerable positions. i love connecting with a person on a real level, in a real way. i'm convinced that society trains us to hide from an early age, to present an image that will gain a particular response vs presenting what we actually feel and think. i think many of the perceived negative presentations we encounter in a person are often the effects of repressing/supressing the 'real' person. That person doesn't get a chance to grow, mature, develop social and coping skills. i'm convinced most people don't really know their actual 'self.' We don't learn self realization and awareness in school, nor do we learn how to articulate what is there.
    For instance, in many cultures/societies, males are expected to be unemotional, 'strong,' 'reasonable.' The notion that males are not emotional, i think, results in anger and violence as a distorted expression of hurt. E.g., (over simplifying): "boys don't cry," so when they are hurt they instead get angry and hit something/someone.
    i believe i encounter the above example a lot in my practice as a nurse. Lot's of hurting guys in the hospital, and lots of angry and (in some form), violent guys in the hospital. i find when i respond to their anger as pain or hurt, many often calm and rapport is established.

    So, it seems to me that how we respond to others is best based on perceiving reality vs presented image, and should be an individual vs a general process?
     
  18. Tightrope

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    Nuanced is a good word. It can range from direct to very passive-aggressive, which can almost be even meaner.

    I went through a chapter where I did do some hurtful things. I believe that it was brief but still look back on it and cringe.

    Empathy is a good thing but I think it's too much of a hot button these days. Some people continue to hurt people and never change for the better. I don't see why I need to muster up empathy for people like this. I'm not a social worker.

    With that, I had a horrible experience with a calculating and dishonest person which cost me about $100. It was unexpected. I left the situation hoping that he buys that much worth of "cancer sticks" and goes through them quickly. Sorry ... it was not a good day.