Anyone out there who has flirted for any other reason besides hooking up? Maybe to keep someone close who might later come in handy? Or for any other reason? I ask because if I ever flirt, it is because I want to get inside someone’s pants. Nothing less. I recently confronted my partner for flirting with this “friend.” He said it it was because this “friend” of his might be a good resource for his job (he is an actor), but that he has no interest in him whatsoever. Any thoughts?
I think some people, myself included, do it because it's just part of who they are, no real reason. Given that, though, I think it does come out a bit more when you actually might need something. Back in the day when I waited tables I got better tips than anyone else--it wasn't because I was the best server...
Like OGS said, flirting can be fun just for the act itself. I have a close friend who we flirt all the damn time, but we both know nothing will ever happen between us. He us just a really good flirt so its fun. That being said, there are no "rules" that you have to accept from him. If this is making you feel insecure then tell him and you both can figure out a way to help your feelings about it all. You could ask from him to not flirt in front of you or to come up with ideas so he can reassure you that the flirting is only playful. It truly comes down to trust. If you feel you can't trust him to respect you, then I would tackle that with him to see if there is something you call can do. That way he can keep flirting if he enjoys it, but he can also take care of you in a way that you need.
When I flirt with people the primary motivation for doing so is usually emotional and not sexual (I want to be closer to the person emotionally, what ever that entails.) But that's just me. I think I might be more demisexual than most guys though tbh.
For some people, it's about ego and control. We assume the ego boost comes from being flirted with, but it can actually work the other way round. We do it because we can, because we get away with it and because it sometimes gets reciprocated (and that's a real win). It's often playful, but it just pushes the boundaries a little bit and tells us that we've still 'got it', even if we don't really want it. Gay men are notorious flirts, but there are some straight men (and women) who flirt with gay guys for reasons I've already mentioned. As long as boundaries are respected and things don't get out of hand, it's all fine and fun, BUT we do need to be very aware of those boundaries. Many times on this forum we read about crushes developing when flirting leads to mixed signals and blurred lines. Just need to be aware.