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Opening Up About Dysphoria To Counselors/Therapists (Discussion + Advice)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by WhereWeWere, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. WhereWeWere

    WhereWeWere Guest

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    I tend to notice that dysphoria is a very, very touchy subject for me. Physical and social dysphoria. I don't talk to anybody about it unless they're another trans person. I'm not a very sensitive or emotional guy, but when it comes down to trying to open up about my dysphoria, well, it's like my Achille's heel. I've tried to open up to my mom, but I'm so goddamn sensitive I usually end up saying, "That's a pretty sensitive subject for me." and drop the conversation so I don't have a melt down in front of her.

    On Wednesday, I was supposed to go to a counselor so I can tell her about these things. But I was so anxious about it that I pretended to fall asleep after school so my mom could cancel the appointment. The whole thing is getting pretty severe.

    Does anybody else experience stuff like that? Or am I the only one? How the hell do I handle it?
     
  2. DreamerBoy17

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    I often feel uncomfortable talking about dysphoria to others, but not exactly because it's a touchy subject or anything. For me, I feel more like a burden to other people; I feel like I'm bringing them down. But with my parents and close friends, I don't have a problem talking about it when I need to, and when I (hopefully) get a gender therapist soon, I don't think that'll be an issue for me.

    I'm sorry you're in a tough position. It seems that your trouble talking about it is something that is worth overcoming so that others, including your counselor, can understand how you feel. I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive, but I think this might be one of those situations where talking about it no matter your reluctance may be the best choice. Even if you do have a melt down, it might ultimately be better for you. You can't keep things bottled up forever, it isn't good for you. Good luck. (*hug*)
     
  3. tgOlivia

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    Honestly, my therapist is the only one I can talk openly and easily about my dysphoria issues, when I cant with friends, family, or even other trans people. And it isn't that I just really like and trust her and feel safe with her. I don't, really she makes me rather uncomfortable.

    But I think you have to be logical about it. Firstly, most therapists/counselors, will have you sign a confidentiality contract, which will say pretty much that they have to inform people if you are suicidal, homicidal, or if a court of law requests mental health record, but otherwise they are not legally allowed to tell anyone else. (though if you're under 16 they might be able to over-involve your parents. Sorry :frowning2: ) So that there is a safety net to be more comfortable with that.

    Second, remember that you are not going to tell them anything they haven't heard before. They do this for a living, you are not going to shock and horrify them. Whatever you say they have probably heard plenty of times before, just be open.

    Third, remember that are a professional. Even if they haven't experienced dysphoria, not being trans, in many ways they probably know more about it (in a clinical sense) than you do, and certainly know better ways of coping with it. Just trust their knowledge, as opposed to worrying they wont understand if they are not trans.

    Finally, the thing that makes it easiest for me, is don't think of them as a person. I know it sounds harsh, but try to think of them as more of a tool for you than a person. A lot of therapists, especially those who work with teens and adolescences try to act like a friend, and if that works for you great, but I don't find it helpful to think of them that way. In the same way that you think of a waiter as more of a food carrier than a person, I find it helpful to think of a therapist as a tool. They are not a person, they are not a friend, they are a skillful tool to help you with your problems related to dysphoria. They are knowledgeable professionals, so I find it easier to talk to someone who I am seeing as a tool to acquire help and knowledge, rather than another human being.

    I know these tips are easier said than done, and it is hard and uncomfortable. There is no cure for that. But I think that being as rational as possible about it is the best thing you can do. And, like Cody said, you might just have to force yourself into it and it might be miserable and cause a breakdown, and blah blah blah, but it is for the best.

    Best Wishes and Don't Forget to Be Awesome!
    ~Olivia
     
  4. Ronin

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    You know, even if you do break down in front of your therapist, that is completely OK. In fact, it can even be a good thing. A good therapist focuses on trying to create a very safe place for you, even in the most difficult and sensitive of things. You are allowed to let it all out.
    That said, if it's too hard to say, you could also try writing it out instead to let them read. That can sometimes help.