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Only gay when horny

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by blagh, Sep 22, 2019.

  1. lovewine

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    I was like this when I first realized I was bisexual. Then I tried being with a woman just to clear things up and I ended up liking it and it feels good to not be in denial to be honest. I'm with a man now, but I feel like I want to explore with women more but I at the same time I see myself with him long term so I don't want to ruin anything hehe. Bisexuality is a confusing thing to be honest. Just posted about it as well moments ago.
     
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  2. lovewine

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    This was exactly what I did! :slight_smile:
     
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  3. Ashton23

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    This is exactly what I have felt. Almost overnight I found myself having attraction to guys like a thousand times stronger
     
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  4. FreeGirl

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    I am a lesbian (maybe? haha) so sort of the opposite of you but in a similar situation and feeling soooo confused also. I totally accepted that I am a lesbian for years, and then started having doubts about guys, either because of having romantic feelings for one (that I did not act on), or physical stuff (not sex, just stuff) with a guy when I felt lonely and wanted someone to be with, but I lose all interest in it completely as soon as the physical stuff is over. I am not sure if those attractions/experiences with men "count" because when I have acted on it physically they either do not feel romantic/emotionally connected, or it feel extremely uncomfortable physically, or I feel some enjoyment but then my interest disappears extremely quickly. I really can not see myself getting married to a man or having a long term relationship with one or having sex with one, and yet I am able to enjoy some intimacy on some level. I have tried on lots of labels, like you did, and don't like any of them! Ugh, so frustrating!!! One person suggested I call myself "fluid" and that seems about right, but I think "really lonely lesbian who appears straight to guys and sometimes ends up dating them for a week or two out of sexual frustration" fits a little better hahaha. Ugh it's really not funny! I have come out twice now and still don't feel like I have gotten it right. I feel happiest when I call myself gay. I feel like that really fits me best and I am happy and accepting of myself as gay. But it's hard to call myself that after going on a date with a guy and fooling around a little bit and still feel like I am being honest....I am sure the guy would not agree! What is going on? Your guess is as good as mine! I was happy to read your post, though--it is nice to know I am not the only one who is confused. I wish there were no labels!!! I am starting to hate them!
     
  5. Franz007

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    FreeGirl: but i see nothing about your feelings/attractions for women. You only described your feelings and reactions to men. That alone doesnt mean that you must have attractions to women because there are some women who need more time to become confident enough with someone to fully appreciate sex. And when you say you cannot imagine being married to a guy, can you imagine then being with a woman? And do you have crushes for women?

    Edit: Or...ok you said you are a lesbian. So i guess there is no doubt about your attractions to women. Sorry if i jumped to quickly into a conclusion.
     
    #45 Franz007, Jan 23, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2020
  6. FreeGirl

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    Oh yeah, I have no doubts about my attraction to women. Have had huge crushes on women, have dated women, and have been sincerely hoping to spend the rest of my life with one. Sorry if I didn't make that clear, I was focusing on my confused part!
     
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  7. Franz007

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    Thanks for your answer. Now everything‘s clear;-)