You story is much like mine and many other gay guys. After years of living the "straight" life, it is wonderful to finally be ourselves. Some friends visited me a couple of months ago and remarked that I was much more affectionate and happier with my bf than I ever was with my wife. It's because I am at last living as an openly gay man and I don't care what others think. I too have rejected feelings of shame and guilt and accept my homosexuality as a natural part of my being. Now I can fully enjoy my life. It is such a heartwarming feeling cuddling and snuggling next to my boyfriend. I only hope that more guys take courage and emerge from the closet and fully live their life openly. It's such an awesome, incredible and authentic life and far more rewarding than the heterosexual straightjacket we have been forced to wear!