1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

One Year Anniversary Coming Out

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dionysios, Dec 1, 2019.

  1. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It was exactly one year ago today that I came out. After being married for 31 years, I never imagined that I would have to courage to make that step. But after much thought and reflection I finally sat my wife down and told her about my same sex attractions. Within two weeks I admitted that I was gay. My wife, hurt and angry, said that our marriage was over. We met with a divorce attorney and worked out a legal separation. We sold our home, split our assets and I moved out to a rental home in April.

    As part of coming out, I had to leave the priesthood. I lost many friends and acquaintances as I began to forge a new life for myself. I am grateful to the good friends I met at EC, who helped me through this difficult and trying time.

    I now live as an openly gay man. I am so happy, content and fulfilled. I own my own home near the museum I work with. I have made many new gay friends and attend LGBT events. My son and family support me. Most importantly, I have my wonderful boyfriend, who I have been dating for the past six months. He has been a tremendous source of support and affection during this time. I love my new life and feel so lucky to finally live the life I could only dream about.

    I never regretted coming out. For those going through the process of coming out, especially older, married men like myself, the outcome is worth it. There is sunshine and a rainbow at the end of this process. Persevere and do not lose faith. Your life at the end if this will be better, happier and more authentic!
     
  2. Jakebusman

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2015
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    201
    Location:
    OH
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My anniversary is New Years Eve
     
    Rade and Dionysios like this.
  3. DecentOne

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2017
    Messages:
    798
    Likes Received:
    417
    Location:
    East Coast US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey, good to hear this update.
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  4. Nickw

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,238
    Likes Received:
    1,247
    Location:
    Out West
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey

    Congrats!
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  5. Wendyo23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2019
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Kingston Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Congratulations.
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  6. JToivonen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2019
    Messages:
    245
    Likes Received:
    160
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It's wonderful to read all that, @Dionysios ! It's really inspiring and encouraging!

    I myself am going through the exact same process of both separating and coming out. It's painful, filled with guilt, a sense of failure and shame, anguish, anxiety, second guessing and fear. But when I read that you managed to overcome all this and that you're happy now, it gives me the push I need!

    So glad for you! Hopefully I'll soon be where you are now!
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  7. cjmiller

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2019
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    144
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Congrats and thanks for such an inspiring story.
     
    Dionysios and JToivonen like this.
  8. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,022
    Likes Received:
    1,351
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Great positive story with a continuing happy ending(s). Congrats. We need more of these.
     
    JToivonen likes this.
  9. Jakebusman

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2015
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    201
    Location:
    OH
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Year sure flys fast
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  10. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It is amazing how much one's life can change in only a year.
     
  11. Jakebusman

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2015
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    201
    Location:
    OH
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ya so much has changed for me
     
  12. Rade

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2018
    Messages:
    1,180
    Likes Received:
    630
    Location:
    Bedford UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congratulations my dear friend, wow that year has flown past quick!!
    My second year of being out gay begins next February. It's weird that after nearly two years, being openly gay, it's just become the new normal. I now don't think twice about telling people I'm gay, I no longer care and I mean that in the most positive light. I'm very naughty, Seeing two guys now and then at the moment. So I'm definitely not on Santa's list this year!! But I've come to realise after 20 yrs with the ex nagging, controlling wife that for now I'm enjoying my freedom of not having to be committed to anyone, I was previously faithful for 20 years. So I'm enjoying my sexual freedom. I go regularly for STI checks and don't have any shame. I'm absolutely loving my authentic life!
    Well done everyone we certainly have all come a long way.
    Jon x x x
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  13. quebec

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    2,197
    Likes Received:
    1,143
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Dionysios.....So, So happy for you!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  14. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Jon,
    My dear friend, your struggle last year coming out gave me untold hope and inspiration. Last December I was like a deer in the headlights after I came out. I was stunned and unsure of what the future held. Your incredible story in coming out, separating from your wife after many years of marriage and getting your own place and plunging into the dating scene gave me a blueprint of how to proceed. I will always be grateful to you for sharing your own struggle and insight into the LGBT world.

    You are a great guy and deserve to be yourself. I am glad to hear that you are doing a bit of exploration and living an authentic life. You will never be on the "naughty list" as far as I'm concerned. My bf and I are exploring too and may do a three some again. *smile* I am proud to be living a gay life and don't worry about others may say. To mark my one year anniversary I hoisted my rainbow flag, which now flutters in front of my house and it's Christmas decorations.

    I really hope that the coming year will be an awesome and great one for you!

    DennisXXX
     
  15. 1cgd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2018
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    236
    Location:
    Midwest
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I’m at just about 11 months (my anniversary date is Jan. 5) and I agree. What a difference! OP and I have stories that are quite similar.

    His point about being yourself and living life as the true you is by far the most important takeaway for those in the position we were a year ago.
     
    Dionysios and Rade like this.
  16. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,022
    Likes Received:
    1,351
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Coming out totally and finally living as an openly gay man has been by far been the best experience of my life outside of the birth of my daughter. To live without shame, guilt, remorse or excuse as been and continues to be exhilarating. To be free of the compulsory heterosexuality that truly hampered my happiness is a gift. I know without a shadow of a doubt I don’t need a woman to live a complete life, all along for me the answer was a man. Waking up next to my BF every day in a loving honest relationship is better than anything I could have imagined a few years ago. I have indeed changed, I am proudly a happy, openly gay man who doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. I need make no excuses for what I was and who I am now. My homosexuality has evolved from the shadows of the closet both real and imagined.
     
  17. Rade

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2018
    Messages:
    1,180
    Likes Received:
    630
    Location:
    Bedford UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sending you the biggest hugs always.......x x x....your journey is incredible too, to break free after 31 years marriage was very brave and I'm very proud of you. Let's hope we continue to inspire other men on EC.
    Hugs to everyone here
    Jon x x
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  18. Rade

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2018
    Messages:
    1,180
    Likes Received:
    630
    Location:
    Bedford UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Be inspired
    Be openly gay
    Complete freedom
    No guilt
    Be happy
    Live authentic and true to who we are
    New confidence
    We learn to own our sexuality finally
    Be ourselves the words authentic
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  19. Unsure77

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2019
    Messages:
    353
    Likes Received:
    256
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Sunday was my gayversary as well. Although, I’m not remotely as far along in the dating process as you. Congrats, man! It’s awesome seeing you so happy. What a difference a year can make!
     
  20. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So happy for you my friend! Last year I was not sure if I would find love or not when I came out. But just to finally live openly as a gay man would be worth it. I was so tired and stifled living a fake, heterosexual life.

    However after I finally emerged from the closet, as icing on the cake, I met an amazing and awesome guy. I am humbled and delighted to have him as my boyfriend. He had been looking for years, but had dated guys who were all in the closet. We are very happy together. Not a day goes by that we don't call each other. We've arranged our schedules so that we see each other every weekend.

    I can only hope that you find that special someone to complete your new life!
     
    Unsure77 likes this.