1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

One of her friends really doesn't like me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by starlights, Jun 23, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. starlights

    starlights
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2015
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So I've been hanging out with this girl for almost two months now and it's great. Better than anything I could have ever expected. This is my first real relationship with another girl, and while we haven't used labels or anything, she introduced me to her friends and they're like, "So you're the girlfriend we've been hearing about?" I thought that was kinda cute. :grin:

    Anyways one of her friends was really cold toward me the first time we met, and then this week we all met up for a drink and she was bitchy to me again. Everyone else has been really welcoming and nice, but this one girl just does not seem to like me. Last time everyone went out to smoke cigarettes except me and Miss Bitchy, and it was awkward. I tried making conversation and she treated it like it was excruciating even to make small talk. Then she went to get a drink and left me alone at the table, which was a relief I guess because obviously we're not hitting it off.

    It bothers me, but not enough to bring it up or make a big deal about it. I just don't understand why she doesn't like me. It's weird enough being introduced to "the friends" for the first time in a lesbian relationship...I feel like with guys, their friends aren't analyzing everything about you and they're probably not going to be talking about you when you leave...because they're guys and they don't care. Maybe that's stereotypical but I've always gotten along well when I've had a boyfriend and met the extended group of friends. It's like if I drink beer with them and I don't mind stupid jokes, then I'm okay lol. But this...I don't know. It's a small thing but it does make me uncomfortable. Should I just ignore it? Or should I find out what the problem is before it becomes something bigger?
     
    #1 starlights, Jun 23, 2015
  2. resu

    resu
    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think you wrote this thread because this is more than just discomfort. Honestly, I too would be hurt if someone acted coldly out of the blue. You might ask your girlfriend if the "mean girl" is normally cold, and if she asks why, then give the example of her not wanting to talk and leaving you (that's really rude IMO). Try also to just give a few more chances for this girl to be friendlier.
     
    #2 resu, Jun 23, 2015
  3. confusedbubble

    confusedbubble
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2015
    Messages:
    352
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Leeds
    Either that or did mean girl have feelings for your now girlfriend and she's gutted that she's with you just a thought
     
    #3 confusedbubble, Jun 23, 2015
  4. starlights

    starlights
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2015
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks resu and confused, I appreciate your help!

    Confused - I thought of that, and I have awful gaydar, but she doesn't seem like the type. I could be wrong.

    resu - I think you're right, it does bother me more than I was willing to admit. It's not like I have a pathological need to be liked, but I want to get along with my GF's friends. I never want to be that person who pulls their SO away from their friends. I will take your advice and give this girl another chance...maybe she'll warm up to me?
     
    #4 starlights, Jun 26, 2015
  5. BiPenguin

    BiPenguin
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney
    Starlights, what matters is your relationship with your girlfriend, not what the irritable relative says. I say this as a person whose wife's family pretty much hated me from the get go. One look at me and nothing but pure malicious behaviour followed. They caused her so much grief that she had to choose between them and myself. They lost a relative for a long time.

    This is just one person and if this person causes strife, then isolating from that person may be necessary. It appears as if everybody is giving you a fair go which is important.
     
    #5 BiPenguin, Jun 28, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)