My life up to a few years ago was not great but not terrible. Then i discovered i was lesbian and everything has changed. I have been in denial for three years until i found that i was in love with a girl (who is straight) when I realised that there was no point denying it any more- i was a lesbian. It took me ages but i have come out to all 7 of my friends and they are extremely accepting but i am always wondering if they think im wierd now? Or do they treat me differently? At my school there is this club called saga (sexuality and gender alliance) and i desperately want to go to find other people like me but i am too afraid that my friends wont want to hang out any more if i do. I am so depressed and lonely and anxious all the time and i am just wondering; why am i like this? Are there other people who are suffering as much as me?
Hiya OP, let me say im so happy that you are finally accepting yourself and im very impressed you were able to come out to so many people, i know personally how hard that is. From what you said about them being so accepting I cant imagine they think you're wierd because you're not, you just like different things and there is nothing at all wrong with that. If you asked one of them they might even go with you to SAGA as a support buddy. I am only 21 so it wasn't that long ago I was in school and I know how hard it is, but I think that if you really want to do it like you said, you should. Finding a place to belong is very important to everyone especially people who dont fit in to social norms. Maybe you could talk about it a guidance officer/counsellor if there is one at your school as they are bound to confidentiality. I know that when I told my friends that I wasn't straight they just laughed at me because they thought I joking (it wasn't mean or anything its just our dynamic) and they are still my best friends and accept me for who I am. From what you said about yours im sure they will be even better i don't think they would stop hanging out with you. You ask "why are you like this" but there isn't anything wrong with you, in reality the fact you are strong enough to admit to yourself and others who you really are is very impressive and Its not something you should undervalue. You deserve the absolute best and even if everything seems against you, there are always people here at EC (myself included) who are here to listen and talk to you as often as you want or need. And yes there are lots of people who struggle with their sexuality and the changes that come with it, I still do. But the thing that helped me alot was being here in EC, as there is always someone who has had a similar experience and can help. I really hope you go to SAGA it sounds like you really want to, and who knows you might meet someone new, make some new friends who knows :3
Hello, ShadowDark101. It's not uncommon to have a host of anxieties during the come out process--even after it's already done. Have you noticed your friends treating you any differently since you came out, and if so, has any of it been negative? If there are some differences, subtle or otherwise, it could be as much that they need time to adjust to this new information as you need to adjust to acknowledging and accepting it. Even if it takes them time to fully come to terms with it, friends support friends; this doesn't always mean telling us what we want to hear, but it does mean being there for us when we're going through changes of any kind. Maybe give it time, allow yourself more time to accept this new aspect of yourself, and then join the club at school? I think you could join at any time, but given your current anxieties, it might just cause you more distress if you're constantly worrying what your friends think. There's no shame in taking little steps, one at a time, to embracing the real you.
