This is gonna be a long one, so if you don't want to read it all, I'll put a TL;DR at the bottom. Some backstory here - I posted on here a few years ago on a different account because I was having trouble figuring out my gender. I'm AFAB, but at the time I was beginning to feel like 'female' wasn't quite right. From that post, I came to the conclusion that I was genderfluid - specifically between female, male, and sometimes agender. I identified that way for a few months, but I soon realised that that wasn't right either. What I realised was that I honestly didn't feel female at all, but I'd been telling myself I did just so I wouldn't have to accept that I'm trans. From there I decided to refer to myself as simply nonbinary, because I had no idea how to describe how I felt, and that seemed to work as a catch-all term. However, I've always been one of those people who finds comfort in putting specific words to the things I feel. I know a lot of people will say, "Well, you don't need to figure it out. Labels aren't that important!" And yes, I agree with that, but for me personally, I do need to figure it out. I don't know why. I just do. I've been going by nonbinary (and, more recently, agender) for a while, but I can't help but feel that drive to narrow it down. Essentially, the way I feel can be split into two categories: one - some days I feel like I have no gender at all. On those days, I prefer they/them pronouns and dress as neutrally as I can. Two - some days (and this is the majority of the time) I feel more masculine. Not quite male, but more masc than I do on my neutral days. Those are the days when I love being referred to as 'he', and were I not living in a house with transphobic assholes, I would definitely try to look as masculine as I can. The only things that remain constant between these feelings is that I definitely want top surgery, and most likely bottom surgery too. I can't stand any part of my body that makes me look even slightly feminine. These feelings tend to fluctuate enough that I recently decided to go by two names - one for my neutral side (Jamie) and one for my masc side (Leo), along with two sets of pronouns. The only thing that remains a mystery is whether or not there's a term to describe the way my gender(s) feel. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and possibly confusing. Any help would be appreciated. TL;DR - some (most) days I'm masc, but some days I'm agender. Is there a term for that that I can use instead of just saying that I 'kind of have a gender but also kind of don't'?