1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

On and Off Crush - How to get rid of it?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by eightyeight, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. eightyeight

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Singapore
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello everyone,

    So long story short, I keep having this on and off major crush on a friend of mine.

    She studies in another country and lives in a different city from mine, so we rarely meet. But we do trips with a couple of friends sometimes and message each other pretty regularly.

    The problem is that every time I do meet her, it's like a huge wave of feelings would come and hit me in the face, reminding me that the crush never really went away in the first place.

    We are pretty affectionate and touchy-feely with each other, so I guess that's the main reason I have this problem every time we finish a trip together.

    It frustrates me how this always happens and I need advice on how to make it stop. I know I need to 'move on' or find someone else, but I've taken interest in other people and it just doesn't work.

    So anyone with similar experience or have any advice regarding this matter, can you help me out?

    Any input would be appreciated!
     
  2. Silver Snow

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2016
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Could you elaborate on why you want to get rid of the crush? Are you certain she doesn’t like you back or is in a relationship? Or do you just feel like it wouldn’t work for whatever reason? Or are you afraid asking her if she likes you will ruin your friendship?
     
  3. starmotive

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2016
    Messages:
    220
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    The closet door
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm kind of in the same situation as you except I did tell her and she doesn't like me back. But I haven't managed to get rid of my crush either and I keep going back to her over and over again even though I know she doesn't feel the same and it's tearing me apart.

    I hope it works out better for you than it did for me. All the best
     
  4. Anon1201

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2017
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    l feel like I am in the same situation too. I haven't told my friend how I feel though because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I hate it because we used to work together and seeing her everyday I felt like there was tension between us, but I never spoke up about it. However, I am still trying to move on knowing she is seeing someone even though she doesn't talk about him much. I haven't seen her lately, but I know if I see her again I will have that rush of excitement / butterflies from seeing her again.

    I am still trying to figure out how to moved past thinking about her, but it is hard because she is the first girl I was actually able to see myself with.
     
  5. eightyeight

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Singapore
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey Silver Snow,

    She's single, but I don't know for sure how she feels about me. I feel like sometimes she's sending me mixed signals, but it's probably just me projecting my own feelings.

    I'm afraid of confessing or talking about my feelings because I don't want to lose her. She's super amazing and special, I can't bear to lose her as a friend.
     
  6. eightyeight

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Singapore
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey starmotive,

    Thanks for the well wishes.

    Totally understand the "crushing over her again and again" part. It's very frustrating. But hey, at least you get some kind of closure from her right? It's a matter of moving forward now.

    I hope all goes well with you and goodluck!
     
  7. eightyeight

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Singapore
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey Anon1201,

    I totally understand. Seeing her is probably the worst and best thing wrapped up into one. I've been trying my best to distance myself from her and it's hard, but it does create some sick kind of relief even for a bit. Might not be the ideal way to forget about someone, especially if she's a good friend, but I guess maintaining distance works.