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Older LGBT who came out long ago, why EC?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by PurpleCrab, Mar 3, 2013.

?

Why being in EC?

  1. To land a helping hand to younger LGBT

    12 vote(s)
    41.4%
  2. For the community

    15 vote(s)
    51.7%
  3. Invited by somebody here

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Because it's fabulous

    9 vote(s)
    31.0%
  5. To get help and opinions on other issues than coming out

    12 vote(s)
    41.4%
  6. Because it's the best mannaged LGBT forum we could find!

    12 vote(s)
    41.4%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. PurpleCrab

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    Like, you came out of the closet 10, 20, 30, 40 or even 50 years ago. What brings you here? :smilewave
     
  2. greatwhale

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    Because I am older and came out to myself in mid-february, I don't have a social network in the LGBT community, I came here to learn the language, so to speak, to find out if I was alone in thinking the things around being gay (thankfully, I am not) and to discover that I had something to offer in terms of experience and insight.

    Later, I found out I could come to play...which is what I think humans were created for!
     
  3. RainbowMan

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    Well, being that I'm hardly what one would consider "out", I came for that perspective. I know the question was more around if I have been out, but that's my answer.

    Being able to help the younger members of EC avoid the mistake that I've made (not coming out earlier - I think that's a mistake) is an added bonus. I really like helping young people :slight_smile:
     
  4. Chloe

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    I came out in 1979 as a lesbian (relatively easy) and in 1988 as bi (more difficult). Now, I'm living a relatively straight lifestyle (not entirely my choice) that has pushed me partially back into the closet. So, EC is one way to connect to the LGBT community.

    The main reason for joining is to share my experiences and help when I can, but it would be great to find friends. I learned about EC from the "other site" where some of my needs are met, but it's mostly men (and a few women, mostly straight) there and I miss being around lesbians.
     
  5. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    It's hard to say when i came out. i knew i was a queer girl for sure at 13. That would be 47 years ago. That was a few years before the Stonewall Riots. I write and one day i was diddling around looking for LGBTQ chat. I found all these stupid ones where people were asking what I was wearing. I kept looking and found this one. I lurked for an hour. I never noticed the ages. I liked the topics and said well I'll join this one. So i arrived here because it was a great site and seemed well thought out. Now i have found my early experiences in the LGBTQ movement and years of experience with the movement have helped any number of people. I guess i stay because I can help so many find their path through the maze of being a queer. I identify as queer because when i found out who I was 47 years ago it was the only term i knew. i had no idea I was a lesbian it was 2 or 3 years later when I was a dyke and and shortly after I was a lesbian.
    It took so long because back then there was no way to research being queer. I was all alone in a world that could put me in jail because i loved girls. Talk about hiding and a closet. They needed to be made of 10 inch thick steel back then. Hugs and love
     
  6. wolfphoenix

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    Ms. C:

    Good for you for taking care of yourself however that is. That, in itself, takes wisdom and courage. You are certainly not alone in the world and glad you are here. Thank you!
     
  7. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    In 'Beginners,' A Gay Man Comes Out Late In Life : NPR

    Here is a site that may be of interest. I think there is more literature on Lesbians coming out later in life.
    Hugs dear
     
  8. wolfphoenix

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    I have been out since 1974 and it was much different then than now and yet we all must find our comfort zone. I am one of those "gold medal" lesbians. I enjoy people and I don't suffer fools well in this late stage in life. I have a great understanding of people and yet have no close friends in life as I spent my treasure on a sober community that seemed to become more and more "clickish." I seek fun and zany folks who are interested in what I might think. I am certainly interested in you, young and older! Thank you!
     
  9. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    I am also a gold star lesbian I have never been with a man. I tried to date a few times. The last time was in high school he kissed my and slobbered all over my face and attempted to jam his tongue down my throat then grabbed my breast like it was a ham. I said fuck this I am not doing this anymore.That was the last date I had with a straight male. LOL
     
  10. Rachyl

    Rachyl Guest

    I hope I may be able to say that the second half of my life will be one more of honesty and forgiveness of myself in the first half. Right now I am queer, and I hope that when I die that will be said of me. He was always a strange bird. lol
     
  11. AKTodd

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    I came out back in the 90s so I fit your timescale. Due to various circumstances my coming out experience and life since seem to have been somewhat...different from what seems to be the norm.

    As far as why I joined EC: I have been feeling a bit too insular of late and have been taking steps to change that. While looking around the web, I came across EC and think they are doing a wonderful and important thing. While reading the various posts I kept coming across situations where I felt I might be able to offer some ideas or assistance. So after thinking about it for a bit, I finally joined.

    Todd:slight_smile:
     
  12. Gaysibling

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    I've just joined, although I have personally been out for around 20 years, because my older brother recently came out to me ( but not yet to his wife and kids) and, to be blunt, I need a 'refresher course' in what it's like to have deal with coming out. So I am hoping to pick up some useful information, and if, along the way, I am able to share information or experience which helps someone else out on their journey, all the better.
     
  13. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    Welcome to EC Gaysibling i hope you like it here and stay for a long time Hugs!!! :slight_smile:
     
  14. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    Being gay and accepting it does not prevent you from making mistakes. It simply opens a another Pandora's box full to try out.

    Take me... Gay male in heterosexual marriage. Huge error for me. No straight guy makes that mistake. Unless there is a straight guy out there finding himself in a gay marriage in error. I imagine it could happen though.

    In coming here you learn you are not alone and there is support.

    Never hurts to help out the young with the voice of experience either. I suspect they don't trust anybody over 20 now, so sometimes you are yelling into an empty hole.

    I never imagined I would make good friends here too.

    Lots of reasons to be here.

    Stuck
     
  15. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    If you look at the book list there are some I listed for Lesbians in a heterosexual marriage. They discuss what the difficulty's are and how they left their marriages.
     
  16. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Yeah, that could happen... But could a straight guy marry another man in error? That would be a very small demographic.

    But we would understand his issues.

    Stuck
     
  17. Jeff

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    I came here looking for insight into gay men who are not able to come out, or men know that they are gay but are married, and ones who are married with kids.

    As I saw a pattern, and that is me attracting closeted men who are not able to fully express their desires, but are for sure sexually interested in guys.

    After closet care number 4, I decided to look into this, and see just how many men are in opposite sex relationships, but are attracted to same-sex. And get info on their point of view, and what and why they are doing what they are doing.

    I have been able to get insight into this dynamic. It is generally social, political, and religious pressure, and often with family pressure as well.

    While most of my gay friends whom I share these experiences with have no sympathy for closets cases who refuse to come out or even support the causes of gays, I have sympathy for them. As I have seen it described as like being in prison, or doing a life sentence, or living hell. These are often beautiful guys who just can't flat out say that they are gay. But they do share their sexuality with me in subtle ways, or sometimes not so subtle ways. So I cut them some slack and try and understand.

    Coming here and reading others' experiences has given me more insight into other guys (who are not out) minds.

    I am still unsure just how to deal with a closeted guy when I am hit on by them. I have choices, let them play their games and say nothing, or tell them to please stop the flirting, or tell them something sexually raunchy that is beyond anything they ever heard from another guy. But basically, I think I have learned that it ain't going anywhere that is good. Maybe a one night hookup, but mostly they are wasting my time and their's.

    If they are gay, and can't accept their sexuality, then yes, they must do a life sentence in prison. So sad.
     
  18. Queen

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    There are degrees of out. Plus if you get a new job, change schools, move or just enter a new community, you have to negotiate out all over again. You have to negotiate out when you're not with somebody and are approached in public.:icon_roll
     
  19. Mango

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    Because I love helping others...Especially the younger ones! Wish I had this kind of help when I was questioning and wondering while in my youth. I've split millions of hairs trying to decipher the difference between gay, bi, transgender, transsexual, drag queen, drag king, MTF, FTM, pansexual, intersex, top, bottom, versatile, bullying, gay pride, best time to come out, worst time to come out, social barriers between LGBT members and groups, etc...

    Thank god EC is here to serve us all!
     
    #19 Mango, Mar 6, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2013
  20. Sinopaa

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    Out to everyone
    I came here because my GLBT community barely has any Trans* people in it. I love my local GLBT group to death; but the constant Trans* barrier with my GLB friends was driving me nuts. When I first came here I wanted to just talk to others girls who truly understood what I am feeling. Over time I discovered that there are a lot of people here who are struggling with finding their gender identity and how to come out. Since then I have been devoting my time to searching the forums for anyone with gender issues and attempting to help. I have also found that being Trans* is a big unknown to a lot of people. To put it blunt, most GLB people know very little about us. So I also wanted to try to teach the rest of the community about what my part of the "T" is and offer a Trans* perspective on various topics. ^_^