I'm feeling much happier today. I saw my therapist today, who is VERY gay friendly because of his own orientation We were talking about how supportive my girlfriend is, and he says that since she was so open and loves me, that I should experiment and have an outlet for my gay desires. He says the best arrangement for me is finding another bi-male looking for the same, so we can have a balance in both our relationships. I just realized that when I'm not freaking out, I'm probably about 50-50. Why do I think that? Just driving through downtown Manhattan and looking at all the ladies with their jackets off on this warm, spring day completely convinced me, haha. But I do need that bi outlet. So I would like to get together with more of the bi community in NYC and meet people in similar situations. I really am thinking that a once-a-week playdate would make me very happy, and I'll probably even love my girlfriend more, because I'll be more satisfied in my arrangement. I have to talk more with her about it and take baby steps with it, but not delay too much. We will go through this together. But I also realized I think there is no way I can ever give up women. I just love them way too much. So I think I would be very happy to have my cake and eat most of it too. This sounds like a very good arrangement. Just the thought of it makes me more satisfied and more desiring of women, as well as men. The key is to experiment here. This is according to my therapist. Experiment with hookups, friendships, relationships, etc. Of course, there is no predicting which way my sexuality will turn. But I have a feeling that this will just be an itch I'll need to scratch often enough (weekly, whatever, less/more), and that I can be happy in my hetero relationship with my girlfriend. I even feel my attraction to women returning now that I'm confronting this side of myself also. Maybe I will be 50-50. I have a feeling it might be this way. Might not be too, but the only way to know is to find out! A happy day! I'm even feeling more productive. Cheers, guys! (!)
Why can't you be Bisexual but in Monogamous Relationship? Unless you have an Open Relationship, this is not being very fair to your Girlfriend, maybe you don't love her as much as you thought, other wise you wouldn't be considering a once-a-week playdate, which means that when she sleeps with you, she is just not sleeping with you, she is sleeping with all these other Men that you hook up with! Not personally but in essence!
im bi too and a 2 on the kinsey scale blah blah blah... as much as i love girls every now and then i hook up with a guy to balance it out... i do agree with Dublin Boy.. you may be bi and its cool to be with your Mrs and hook up with a guy now and then but at the end of the day it aint fair to her... thats why i choose to remain single coz i know its not fair on the other person if your hooking up with another sex... play safe to stay in the game...
There are a lot of possibilities here, with different outcomes. At this point, I'm glad they're there. Because I really love her, and am finding myself very physically attracted to her and all women these days, actually (springtime!). I think the point of the multiple possibilities are putting my mind at ease. I have checked on the bi-forum to see how people deal with it. It's not an easy issue, but they do manage. It's not easy being bisexual in a monogamous relationship. I guess I will just have to go with the flow and figure this all out.
Perhaps some of the other Bi people on EC can interject as to whether a Monogamous relationship is possible!
