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OCD on sexual orientation

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Blade118, Jun 19, 2022.

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  1. Blade118

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    Hi,

    it’s been a while since I have posted on here and hope you all don’t mind.

    I have been diagnosed with OCD of a sexual orientation nature by over 8 therapists and told it means I am not Gay or bisexual but I am constantly thinking of kissing men, anal sex and blowjobs every single waking minute of the day and feel I get no anxiety it from it anymore.

    my story is quite long winded and posted here a few years back about it but it all stemmed from a women making a comment to me which the escalated into what if I am Gay and now I feel convinced I am and just in denial.

    I am seeing guys out there and imaging kissing them and can see myself doing it, I kiss walls and imagine it’s a man, I bend over to picture been penetrated, I analysis Gay porn to see how I feel and I get no dislike from it.

    I have suffered massively over the last 2 years and continue to do so and there have a been a few members on here who have replied and can’t thank you enough.

    every article I read says ocd means it’s not true and ocd of this nature isn’t denial or a sexuality orientation issue but now I have come across articles saying You can have HOCD of this nature and realise you are Gay at the end of therapy and It’s about living with the uncertainty.

    but these days I feel convinced I am Gay and feel I want to act up on these thoughts.

    I even went to see a sexuality councillor who was Gay and he said i wasn’t gay or bisexual and this was Just OCD.

    i have been told by my therapist not to experiment as they said it will make my situation worse.

    Chip has been a massive help and just wondered if anyone had any advice.

    could I actually be Gay.

    Can someone with ocd of this nature realose they are Gay.

    i am so confused and messed up but it’s like I am finding guys hot and wanting to kiss them but I use to find it disgusting but I don’t find it disgusting in the slightest.

    i feel nothing for women anymore but I am compulsively chasing this dislike feeling and look at straight porn and Gay porn and when I watch the gay porn and just watch it I don’t masturbate or get an erection I just watch it to chase this dislike feeling which never comes.

    I always thought ocd of this nature meant this wasn’t true but can someone realise they are have inclinations after therapy as the therapists said they wouldn’t send me to an ocd clinic if I was Gay.

    but then some therapists have said that just because you have ocd like this it doesn’t mean you’re not gay and could realise you are at the end of therapy so if I can why are they saying ocd isn’t denial or a sexual orientation crisis.

    so confused and would like people input on this.

    I know HOCD doesn’t exist but therapist use this to understand what that ocd theme is about like harm ocd, pedophile ocd, contamination ocd- I know it’s all OCD
     
  2. Chip

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    You have been going in circles on this topic for years.

    No amount of confirmation by anyone is going to change your mind, calm you, or give you the answer you seek. That's the nature of how OCD impacts the brain.

    With the amount of suffering you are experiencing, and the length of time you have been suffering, you need medication. If 8 therapists have told you this and presumably tried to work with you, and you aren't getting better and aren't able to take their word, nothing or nobody could convince you. God himself (or whatever supreme being you prefer) could appear out of the air and tell you you aren't gay and it wouldn't convince you.

    Please see a psychiatrist and get medication. You don't deserve to sit in misery.
     
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  3. quebec

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    Blade.....I have OCD. It is pretty much "controlled" via medication and therapy. Either one by itself would be insufficient. You absolutely need to have therapy combined with medication to be able to get a handle on this. @Chip is totally right on this. If you don't take those steps, this will never get better and you don't deserve to live like that. Don't ask anymore questions...all they do is take you around in circles with no change.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  4. Blade118

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    So does this mean I am not Gay and it’s OCD.

    as I feel I am noticing and wanting to kiss men everyday and do all these acts.

    a recent therapist said just because you have ocd of this nature it doesn’t mean you are not Gay and she said someone had ocd like this and realised they were in fact Gay and then that leaves me massively confused as I thought this all meant it wasn’t true

    thank you so much for the replies it’s means the world to me.
     
  5. Chip

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    You're going in circles. You will never, ever, get an answer that satisfies you. That's why you need therapy and medication.
     
    itsuka and Ipswichfan like this.
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