Hey y'all it's me again. Good news is that I started fluoxitine to help with my OCD and I am seeing my therapist on a bi-weekly basis. She also gave me a new task of when I get intrusive thoughts regarding men, I need to acknowledge that it's there, not judge myself that I get those thoughts and turn back to what I am doing. I have noticed the thoughts have gotten worse lately and my brain will try and "switch" to pretending I am doing things with a guy when I am kissing a girl for example. I get anxious about getting those thoughts, then I will get those thoughts. I know it's most likely my OCD kicking in, but it will doubt that its OCD and try and make me think its because I actually want to be with a man. Realistically I know that I don't. At least for the time being. I am trying really hard to not let these thoughts bother me but it's really hard. I want to focus on my exploration of liking women, but the thoughts regarding men will get really strong sometimes. I know most likely it's the OCD but sometimes I wonder if the thoughts are true.
I am glad that you have gotten help. Keep up with the medications as prescribed and follow your therapists advice. It sounds to me a lot like the things that I have read on mindfulness, which has helped me with intrusive thoughts. I found that it took quite a bit of time and effort to start working for me, so don't let it upset you when the thoughts return, just keep doing the work.
