Hi all. So on to the confusing part. I had very strong feelings for a man I met online. We've been talking about years and he knows me very well. Somewhere along the way there was flirting going on and even some highly charged conversation, aka sexting. But then it stopped, because he didn't want us to be in a long distance relationship and he didn't feel it was right. He proposed we should be friends and I reluctantly agreed. In the course of time, I convinced myself we were just friends because he got in a serious relationship and I wanted him to be happy. But deep inside I wasn't happy, I wanted to be with him, I believed he was perfect. I dreamed of kissing him and having a family together. He broke up, so I grasped the chance and told him about my feelings. I decided to end this madness by asking him to reject me. He did and I'm glad, because the expectations are gone. We still talk by the way. I sometimes wonder if all my romantic fantasies about him are gone or if they were even real in the first place. So the question here is, how do I know these feelings -which were deep no doubt- were truly because of my orientation or a product of heterosexual norms that made it seem we'd be perfect together some day in the distant future? And if they were real and are now not there, what Am I to do with that knowledge? Welcome to my head-space. If you can figure your way around, could you please help me? I am sort of lost and amused at the same time.