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Obsessed

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by yasmin02, Sep 30, 2020.

  1. yasmin02

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    Simply put, I was texting a girl from school last year for a few days but then she eventually asked me to leave her alone. I didn't even text back "okay" or ask her why however I cannot stop thinking about her and haven't been able to for 6 months. Furthermore, I have been unable to leave the house without thinking that I saw her walking since June. I have even thought someone was her who didn't look at all like her. I am constantly daydreaming about talking to her 24/7. I am not romantically interested in her I am just very lonely. I have gave myself panic attacks and delusional thoughts about why she asked me to leave her alone. I know I am being ridiculous but I am in a lot of pain. What should I do?
     
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  2. Andrew7

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    It sounds like you might have some anxiety. Anxiety where something bad happens you can't help but to dwell on it. Though, to be dwelling on it so severely for so long, does seem a bit extreme. Perhaps some counseling might be beneficial for you. It sounds like anxiety in regards to panic attacks and delusional thoughts as well (though not saying it can't be something else).

    But, maybe your loneliness has prevented you from being able to move on, since your desire for companionship would be higher whilst in a state of loneliness. As a result it would be easier to fixate on the past things you once had that helped prevent you from feeling lonely.

    If you found some new friends, or a romantic partner even, (something that would help with your loneliness) would you still see yourself fixating on this girl as strongly or at all?
     
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  3. yasmin02

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    I would not think about her. However I don't have social media and I am in quarantine at least until january
     
  4. QuietPeace

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    If finding new friends or getting into therapy are not options for you I have to go back to the suggestion that I made to you in another thread about using Meditation and Mindfulness.
     
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  5. Andrew7

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    Sounds pretty tough. Though it sounds positive to hear that you think it's possible you'd be able to move on from her under such circumstance.

    Though it's no replacement for companionship in real life, perhaps since you've joined us here, your further participation might help ease your loneliness, if only a little.

    P.S. Welcome :slight_smile:
     
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  6. Loves books

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    It kind of sounds like a crush and if it is anything like a crush you’ll get over it eventually. Counselling sounds like a good idea maybe give it a try, if you can, and go from there?
     
    #6 Loves books, Oct 1, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2020
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  7. Vega222

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    I have had a case that I wanna share with you and it might help. Several years ago, A friend started not to answer my calls anymore and it gave me tough days and months. I didn't even know if he was fine and wasn't sure something bad hadn't happened to him. But eventually after 1 year or so he texted "I decided I didn't want to talk to you because talking to you annoys me." It was after I asked her family about him in person. Then again after 1-2 years he called me and apologised. Now it's ok between us and I get help from him when I want.
    So when he was gone I used to dream about him once in a while and it was catastrophic (When I would wake up and would realised it was a dream.) He didn't allow me to have a proper ending. Didn't even explained why he had left. And I needed some sense of closure.

    If at least I knew why exactly he left me, then it was much more bearable I believe.

    Also, he had/have influenced me more than anyone. And I guess that was one of the reasons he left me. He always say he feels bad about influencing others and unwantedly ruining their lives. He doesn't want to make people take wrong decisions.
    So, Perhaps she left you to prevent hurting you or something like that?


    Generally speaking, I think younger people have to don't take friendships too serious. I mean especially when people are teens or are in their early 20s, it does happen. Many people do that. They're too young and they just leave you more easily.
     
    #7 Vega222, Oct 2, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2020
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  8. yasmin02

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    I can't see a counselor unfortunately. I was seeing one last year but had to stop because my dad didn't want to pay for it anymore. Do you think if I emailed her that i could get in trouble with the school?
     
  9. QuietPeace

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    Emailing the councilor or your crush?

    If you email your crush and she decides that it is harassment then maybe you could.

    Emailing the councilor who you no longer officially see would probably not get you in trouble. Though the councilor may only be allowed to send you back a form email that says they cannot help you unless you are officially seeing them.
     
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  10. yasmin02

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    I meant the girl I wont
     
  11. Josh745

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    By reading this thread and the replies I am compelled to share my experience. But before that I must tell u that Mother nature and time have been the only healers for me (I still struggle) and I feel these will be the healers here also.
    @yasmin02 what you have described used to be very much true in symptoms with me also. I have experienced similar. By your story I went 12 years back. I got affectionate with a colleague of mine. He too was kind and nice in behaviour towards me. Soon we got more closer and started sharing personal likes and dislikes kinda things. He was more towards in expressing his household troubles with me and I was more on solution suggester role for him. He used to consider me mentally and emotionally stronger than himself and was my praiser. He got kind of dependent on me for sharing his insides. Once he said that he thinks about me atleast for a moment while at home going back from office. It all started from this statement of his. Don't know how it happened but I started dreaming about him, liking him more, had put all necessary life work secondary to him. Wanted to spend more and more time with him. But the reciprocation did not occurred in a similar fashion. I somehow became courageous to tell my feeelings for him but his reaction was cold or say too cold I would rather say though he also said that he understands my feelings but could not do much in that . After this my symptoms started. I used to cry a lot late at nights until early mornings crying, agonizing while thinking of him. Lost my appetite completely. I started associated him with everything which was happening right in front of me. Every movie scene or dialog he used to came by and got associated. Every or say most of the songs he comes in and got fit himself there. For years it happened.
    You people won't believe but in my exhales his name got pronounced automatically.
    I got very sick to much of the extent that I wasn't able to get hold of myself. Anyhow was just doing office work going completely aloof from rest of the world and to myself.
    These things are very complicated and wierd. If you go to a doctor as was the case of mine he will give drugs for anxiety or may be antipsychotics too as was in my case. Firstly he diagnosed me with chronic fatigue syndrome and started giving me benzos and antipsychotics without telling me what these drugs were in actual. Very lately I found about them from Google.

    Coping with those drugs alongwith their side-effects is another battle altogether. For me this drug therapy didn't went right rather it left some more permanent scars in life that I don't want to discuss here.
    What I want to say with my experience is keep going on with life, open yourself here as you just did. In my case I was completely lonely with all this all together inside me. But luckily you are here. Have opened up. Make new friends. It does work. I hope it all will go away. Time will itself put all messed up things at their correct place in the shelf of life.
    What more can I say right now... Forget the past take your symptoms as similar that others have faced in similar situations and healing is a natural process and nothing can stop it too.
     
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