Hello. I haven't posted anything for more than a year, but I've been really hit by this tonight so, uhm. This is kind of a rant but I also need advice. Sorry if this is written sloppily. Before I begin, I need to clarify I don't see this person that often (she lives one hour away from my house) but we do message every day and have been in contact for maybe 5 years now. So... flashback to last year. It was, I think, a Saturday night, and I had gone out to a restaurant with my parents. I got a text from one of my best friends. He told me how one of my other best friends had texted him while crying: she had told him she had a crush on me but just couldn't bring herself to tell me in fear of being rejected. I never knew why he told me about it, I never asked him. He was probably hoping for me to return her feelings, but... it was a very hard time for me and I felt so bad about myself, I wouldn't have been able to mantain a relationship. I told him I didn't know how I felt (which was true!). The next months I kind of got various signs. I pretended not to notice, and eventually, they stopped. And I very much felt when they did. She did not like me anymore. I felt... bummed out about it, but told myself it was just because having someone like me Does boost your ego a lot, doesn't it. Then, maybe a month ago, me and my friends got in a discussion about feelings. I talked about this crush I once had on a girl and about how it disappeared later, etc. She talked about how bad she felt when she had this crush on this person, and it kind of... hit me. How she was talking about me, and all of the pain I had caused her while pretending I didn't know anything. I took the friend who had told me about it to the side and directly asked him if he knew if she was talking about me. He asked her, then confirmed. I felt like the world was falling upon me. The next day. She texted the group chat, saying how she had thought about it the night before, that maybe that crush she had hadn't disappeared completely. That was... nice to know. I guess. I kind of realized. I like her too. I just always wait for her to be online, and I ask to see her in real life whenever I can... I always have something to tell her, and I can't wait for her to tell me things. But anyways. The problem is. I have started dropping hints. HEAVY HINTS that I return her feelings. And now, more than ever, she seems so, so, so oblivious. I mean I guess it's difficult to confess your feelings, I don't know how to do it properly myself, but she hasn't responded to any of my slight flirts and I'm not sure. If she really IS oblivious. Or if she's just faking it. Because I mean, why would she? Does she not have a crush on me anymore already? Or is it that she realises I like her too and is too nervous to say anything about it? I don't know. The fear that she might not like me really hit me tonight especially. Sorry for the wall of text, but thank you for reading my long rant. If you have any comments on the situation I'd love to hear them... Thanks again.
There really isn't any secret to telling someone feelings for them. It's more a matter of getting the nerve to do it. If I do it, I make sure that the other person knows I value them enough to remain friends if they don't feel the same way--because if you really care about that person, you'd be thankful for that person to be in your life in any capacity (even if it's not what you initially wanted). I'd say "What have I got to lose? I have a long life ahead of me. If this person isn't who I end up with, I got the rest of my life to find others."
Hi, I really needed this. I do value my friendship with her a lot. I think I will tell her, maybe ask her out first... See how much courage I can gather out of myself today. Thank you, I will do my best.
