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Not sure if i'm talking or my worry is.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by XefrAce, Nov 30, 2017.

  1. XefrAce

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    So i'm ftm trans and i want to come out to my parents, but i'm hesitant to do so.

    It's not because they're against trans people; i mean, there's a ftm guy who was in my church's youth group and was a part of the last service i went to with them and they are ok with him, but i'm not sure how they'd react to me, their kid, being trans.

    My sister overheard them talking and according to her they are suspecting me (i dress in hoodies and sweatpants a lot and often get mistaken for a guy by strangers), but apparently, my mom said it's probably a phase since a friend of her friend had a phase of dressing masculine and then later went back to dressing feminine.

    I want to tell them since i want to go on t and get top surgery and i'm dependent on them for medical care, but i'm scared of being rejected. Am i being too much of a worrywart?
     
  2. Dingdang

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    You are not being too much of a worrywart. Knowing your parents, what do you expect will happen? When I came out, I was taken aback by their shock, as they are not extremely religious or transphobic, as far as I knew. Therefore, it's good to be prepared for them to react badly. The sooner you come out, the better (if you are ready, of course) because it gives them time to come to terms, which, for my parents, took over a year.
     
  3. XefrAce

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    I'm not fully sure? I'm really bad at figuring out how people will react to stuff, but now that you mention it shock seems appropriate.
     
  4. Dingdang

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    The only thing I would "worry" about is whether you're at risk for being kicked out, which happened to one of my friends. If that's highly unlikely, then I would go for it and get it over with. It's a step you'll have to take anyway, so do it whenever you're ready.
     
  5. XefrAce

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    I'm fairly certain i won't get kicked out of the house. Although i'm not sure if i should come out to both parents at the same time or separately.
     
  6. jam93

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    It's kind of up to you. Personally I would recommed doing it one at a time. That way you only have to deal with one person's reactions and can focus on adressing thier specific concers. If you think one parent might be more supportive start with that one. That way you either have an ally when coming out to the other (if things go well) or at least some practice dealing with thier concers or objections (if things don't). The downsides to doing it this way is you have to build up your courage twice, which can be hard, and there is a risk that the first parent could tell the second before your ready, which I guess could be good or bad depending on the situation. Anyway good luck. I hope things turn out for the best.
     
  7. XefrAce

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    I think it would be easier to do it one at a time yeah. I feel like having it be 2 to 1 is just too much.
     
  8. XefrAce

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    I'm back home now but i haven't been able to come out to either of my parents yet. I just never seem to be able to find a right time to bring it up. I want to have it be naturally brought up but at the same time, i'm still anxious about bringing it up. Calling a meeting or something would be nice but i don't think my nerves could handle it.