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Not showing gender as a child

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by anthonyoliver, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. anthonyoliver

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    I want to come out to my parents, but I know exactly what they'll say. I'm DFaB and when I was a kid I was into super girly stuff. My parents have stereotypes stuck in their head that every trans person is like Jazz, showing their gender at a young age. My mom said the other day that she was glad my brother and I were always into things for our sex as a kid.
    Help?!
     
  2. jay777

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    #2 jay777, Jan 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2015
  3. anthonyoliver

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  4. Tai

    Tai
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    When you come out to them you could say that some boys liked dolls and some girls played with toy trucks. You could explain to them that your past is how you felt in the past but currently, in the now, you are a trans guy. The news tends to only show trans stories about kids who knew from a young age, but in truth, people find out at all different ages, some even as late as 60.
     
  5. anthonyoliver

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    When I do come out I'll definitely try that. Thanks!
     
  6. Harjus

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    I was a little princess as a kid. I was alway telling people I am a princess. I was a little kid then. Kids just do what feels good if no one tells them not to do those things. Things you did when you were a kid shouldn't define you for the rest of your life. Kids do all kinds of goofy stuff. It doesn't mean anything in long term if you used to draw on your face or eat snow. I would say that if someone was trying to tell me I can't possibly be a man because I wanted to be a princess when I was 5. If I was a cis-man some people would just say that they "knew I was gay" or something like that. They wouldn't say that I am not a man.

    Besides it's quite adorable in my opinion if a guy used to be a princess as a child or play with dolls etc.
     
  7. dray7

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    If it's any consolation, I was the same way. I knew I was "supposed" to be a girl so I tried really hard to jam myself into that mold, and did a really good job of convincing myself that it fit. Gender is really hard to figure out, especially when everybody's shoving what they think you should be down your throat. A lot of trans people don't realize they're trans until puberty or later (some don't find out until they're 50+, which is totally valid!!)

    Plus, the things you enjoy don't dictate your gender. I know that's hard to convince people, but boys can like pink and playing dress up just as much as girls can like short hair and monster trucks. Even now, I'm a boy, but that doesn't stop me from wearing eyeliner and lipstick. Your gender expression and identity are two completely different things.

    Maybe you can try explaining the difference between gender expression and identity? And you could maybe explain that there's a whole lot of trans people who didn't find out until they were adults. Either way, I wish you the best of luck!
     
  8. jay777

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    Maybe this could help:
    http://everydayfeminism.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Genderbread-2.1.jpg


    (*hug*)
     
    #8 jay777, Jan 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2015