I have been told on multiple occasions that I am not straight enough to like guys or I am not gay enough to like girls. And no duh, I'm bisexual. . . I like both. Recently, I have come out with liking girls a little bit more and that was a huge accomplishment for me. Since my personality is more masculine and my self expression is female, everyone wants to label me as one or the other. Which is hard cuz up until recently I never felt like I had to choose one other the other. Until now. . . I'm conflicted because I want a relationship so bad. Like I love to be with someone while experiencing life together. Honestly, I would like it to be a girl but I don't feel I come off gay enough for girls. Is this an internal conflict another Bi person goes through? I'm me, and I worked so hard to accept it that now that I am true to myself it seems no one wants me.
Then keep looking until someone wants you. You are bi and it's okay to be bi. Biphobia is rempant though which sucks but that's also why you've got to stick to your guns. If you were to call yourself a lesbian, knowing you are still attracted to men (even to a lesser degree) you would find yourself unable to relax and be yourself around your partner, in case your body betrayed you or you found yourself caught looking a bit too long at a man. Honesty should be the base of any relationship and if you can't be honest about your feelings and who you are with your partner and be yourself around them, then what's the point? I am bisexual and I prefer women, I think I always have and currently my attraction to them is about 95% vs 5% (or less towards men). It would be easy for me to label myself as a lesbian, well it would be the easy way out. I would stop being rejected by biphobic lesbians but then, do I really want to date a biphobic person? The answer is no. So I embrace being bisexual, despite the biphobia and sometimes wishing I was gay as it's a very good filter against close-minded folks.
