As my title said, I am not always sure when it comes to oreintation. It makes it more difficult to know for sure because I've never had sex. I've never really played around either, I just don't feel comfortable doing it. Sometimes I have had the urge to experiment, if only to find out, but I've never been able to do it. I feel both reluctance and a small amount of fear. For the longest time I have considered myself Bisexual, and I was okay with that. Ever since middle school really. It hasn't been easy. I wasn't outed by choice, but luckily everyone who knows was cool about it and agreed not to tell others. I guess what it comes down to is I am confused. I identify with Bisexuals because I feel torn between both genders. Physically, I am attracted to guys. But I am not emotionally attracted to them AT ALL. Zero. Not at all. I tried to be, but I'm just not. Girls is where it gets confusing. Emotionally, I am very attracted to them. Physically also, but only to a degree. I am attracted to the feminine type, and admire the female physique in magazines and such. When it comes to actually having sex with a woman, the thought makes me very uncomfortable. I wonder if that is because I am a virgin or because.....well, I don't know. I just know I'm not as happy with a guy because there is a distinct lack of an emotional connection. I am incapable of having a relationship with someone there is no emotional connection with. So that is the entire contents of my very confusing situation. I would very much appriciate some advice. I am so glad I found this site.
Hey, welcome to EC! You're in the right place if you want some advice, it's a really great place. Ultimately, I can understand why you're identifying as bisexual, your sexual attraction is clearly evident in both genders. However, I can see your confusion over your romantic attraction. I think it would be very hard for you to form a relationship with a guy if you only had no romantic attraction to them, and I think this is key in your confusion. I think it depends on what you want to label your sexuality on - romantic or sexual attraction. Personally, I know I could never see myself with a guy in a relationship, and while the occasional guy does 'catch my eye', it would be nothing more. Therefore, I identify as a lesbian, because I can very easily see myself in a relationship with them, and I find them far more pleasurable to the eye. So, if you were to base it off romantic attraction, I would say the label of 'lesbian'. But that differentiation is up to you. Personally, I find romantic attraction a more realistic judgement of my sexuality. You could always distinguish between your sexual and romantic attraction in your label? Increasingly so, people are moving to this to have a more exact definition of their sexuality. For you, a homoromantic bisexual. This would take into account your sexual attraction to both genders, but the romantic attraction to the same sex. I can understand how this can be confusing though. As for your uncomfortable-ness at thinking about sex with women, I felt a lot like this while I was still questioning. The questioning I think restricted me from thinking that through some small amount of internalised homophobia. You might be going through this. It might just be that you haven't found the right girl to think about, so you might be reluctant to think more generally. If you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask me. You can also send me a wall message if you want, I'll always be happy to reply. I hope this helps in any way, I know what it's like to question, and it's really hard.
Thats a simple thing to answer Ohhai. I am impatient by nature, not one of my most endearing qualities of course. I've always been that way, since I was a child. I'm impatient to find out this I think, because I want to find out who I am and embrace it fully. It's like when I have a puzzle and theres that one piece left, and it's not there for me to complete to puzzle with. I am impatient and intensely curious about everything, so that doesn't help either. Thank you Holly, you were a big help with helping me sort out some of my thinking. I am curious about the Homoromantic Bisexual term. I've never heard of it before, is it a widely used term? I like it, it's creative and more specific to how I feel. I've always been a romantic, and wanted to have that intense connection with someone. I want to know that magical feeling that people talk about when they find someone they really connect with.
It's not widely used in the media, but I've seen it in many instances around EC. I can understand the appeal of it if your romantic and sexual attractions aren't the same. I would use it if I wasn't only interested in females :L I'm exactly the same romance wise. While I frequently get annoyed at my friends being all smoochy and what not, I'm actually a big romantic at heart! I think figuring out my sexuality has made that more prevalent, considering the amount of times I've imagined being in a relationship with a girl... :L I'm glad I helped in some way, I hope things are a bit clearer for you!
