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"nosey" parents

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by atoadaso, May 8, 2015.

  1. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    When my parents thought I was straight, I couldn't mention any cis guy friends without getting the look & being asked if I liked him or he liked me. Since I've been out as pan, all my friends, regardless of gender, are off-limits as topics of conversation. If I talk about something funny they said more than three times, I get the look, followed by, "So, is this person seeing anybody? Are they just a friend?" It's a little funny, a little embarrassing. I just know my parents are gonna be the type to ask me in 5 years when I'm planning on getting married & starting a family. :icon_wink

    So, my question is, do anyone else's parents assume you're crushing on everything that breathes?
     
  2. BryanM

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    Not really. Whenever I first came out my parents would ask me who I liked, but now they don't really ask. I think they'd rather have me tell them on my own terms if I get in a relationship.
     
  3. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    My parents mainly do it to embarrass me for their own amusement versus genuine curiosity. They did it more frequently before I had my first relationship, now they know I'll tell them if I really want to, but they also understand I'm very private.
     
  4. MotelGuy

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    My mom doesn't ask, she never brings up my homosexuality, I do all the talking...
     
  5. Lyana

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    My mother used to want to match me up with every guy I ever mentioned in passing.

    Now that she knows, she just tries not to mention it anymore. It's going to take her some time to get used to it.
     
  6. C P

    C P
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    Parents? Try my whole frickin' family; even some family friends.

    Every time I'm talking with a girl, whether a cashier I just happen to chat with, or an old friend, they tend to bombard me with stuff like "I saw you talking with her and laughing" and "uh oh, get it!", etc.

    It's pretty damn annoying considering I won't ever see any of them beyond a platonic sense. .-.
     
  7. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    I hope she adjusts soon! I'm sorry to hear she isn't comfortable with it.

    ---------- Post added 9th May 2015 at 02:41 AM ----------

    This. I feel this. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I look for a little too long at someone & I get raised eyebrows all around, maybe some questions in the car. I barely ever get crushes, & I pretty much never view strangers sexually.
     
  8. PurpleGrey

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    My mom is like that, but less so recently. She's kinda going back to "Eww, everything's icky and wrong!" lately. She went on one of her "I'm not homophobic, but gays are gross" rants earlier when she found out my friend is genderqueer. Not relevant, but still.
     
  9. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    That's odd that she'd be "okay" with it one minute & not the next?? I'm sorry you have to put up with that. (*hug*)
     
  10. starlights

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    I'm not out to my parents, but my mom is overbearing. When I lived with them for a year after college she would do things like open my mail and say she didn't look at the label, or walk right into my room without knocking, or ask me who I was talking to after I was on a phone call.

    So I feel your pain. It sounds like your parents don't know how to talk to you about your sexuality, but not necessarily that they're malicious about it, so that's something to be grateful for :icon_bigg
     
  11. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    I think I'd go nuts if my parents tried pulling any of that with me! They've all been very respectful of my privacy, & that's how I like it. I dunno how you put up with it.
     
  12. PlantSoul

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    My mom did this a lot when I was younger. Now she understands not to talk of my male crushings/musings to her mother. She's the worst. I rather have her not know that I'm attracted to either sex. She thinks I'm gay and wants me to date. It's very annoying. I'm keeping any relationship of mine a secret, simply because I don't want her or anyone else sticking their nose in my business.

    Periodically, she brings up the possibility of me going on dates and looking my best for men. Just thinking about it is making get upset! When she asks, I either say "no" or I don't even answer her. Then she insists on me answering, so I give her an incoherent mumble. Right now: she "knows" that I don't want to get married (I'm open to it) and I don't want any kids (I really don't!). She can't take these answers lying down! How long must this go on?!

    http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03153/Jennifer-Saunders_3153793b.jpg
    (the photo option doesn't seem to work for me.)

    ---------- Post added 9th May 2015 at 10:17 PM ----------

    You're so lucky! It's maddening.

    ---------- Post added 9th May 2015 at 10:23 PM ----------

    Yeah... This is one of the reasons why I don't miss being so close with my family. I can't stress how many times they tried ganging up on me to see if I were gay.
     
    #12 PlantSoul, May 9, 2015
    Last edited: May 9, 2015
  13. ChristianHipstr

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    It's kind of cute that your parents are so into it. My grandmother acts like she's barfing at the slightest mention of any of my crushes. My grandfather asked ONCE. The conversation went as so...
    "So your friend... Is he uh, one of of your gay friends?"
    "Ya..."
    "Oh ok. *awkward pause* Would he be considered more of a boyfriend?"
    "Not quite."
    "Gotcha. Well.. Good talk."
    "Yup. Good talk"
    That's about as nosy ss it gets lol.
     
  14. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    @PlantSoul - Jeez, that's rough. I know how you feel about wanting your privacy. Even as a (little) kid I was intensely private, just as a personality trait. I hated my family to know anything personal about me.

    @ChristianHipstr - It is a little cute & amusing, since they just do it embarrass me. I'm sorry about your grandma! The grandpa thing made me laugh, though.
     
  15. Bravesole

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    am out to my family who leave me to it:slight_smile: my big brother will ask the odd question just to make sure am alright .
     
  16. Reciprocal

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    I can't mention a girl I happen to be friends with without my parents asking me stuff like that. Even if we're watching the news and there's a female presenter/weather forecaster/whatever: "Do you think that woman is sexy?" It gets very annoying.
     
  17. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    :lol::lol::lol:
    My parents have never been that bad about it !
     
  18. starlights

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    I couldn't, that's why I moved out! To be fair, my dad isn't like that, just my mom.
     
  19. QuecksilverEyes

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    I'm out to my parents as bisexual, but whenever I mention a guy they wiggle their eyebrows and ask if I like him. I never get that when I mention a girl...
    It really annoys me and I feel like they don't really want to see me as anything else but straight...
     
  20. LogicNoSense

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    I'm not out to my family, but since they tend to invade my privacy...I won't be surprised if they find out by accident. (It's in a sense, their fault for messing around with my things, so they can't blame me for not telling them.)

    Instead of being shipped, I'm the one doing the shipping. I'm in an all girls school, and half of my class is shipped XD They're getting kinda sick of it already lolz.