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Non-HRT options

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AliceSlick, Jan 18, 2019.

  1. AliceSlick

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    Hi,

    I've been identifying as female for about a year and am very confident in that, but I have never before nor do I now have any interest in HRT. It took me ten years to get used to this hormone balance/personality, and I should rather like to keep it, thank you. I have also tried HRT before and had a massive upsurge in depression (probably cause I didn't want it in the first place and felt like I was just jumping through hoops and "performing" femininity just like I had been forced to perforrm masculinity in the past). The only issue with this is that I REALLY REALLY want a vagina. It was the first thing I knew I wanted, and it's basically the only way I can ever hope to have a satisfactory sex life (even thinking about sticking my dick in something makes me gag) which, for someone who is a self-described slut (which I embrace and don't see as pejorative) is a big deal.

    Obviously the traditional vaginoplasty procedure is untenable without HRT given that it involves removing the testacles. Is there any alternative procedure that could basically make me intersex? It seems like that should be doable given that plenty of people are born that way, but I've never heard of a surgical option like that.

    At the moment I'm torn. Not proceeding on the path to surgery feels like a betrayal of myself and triggers dysphoria and despair, but so does the idea of starting HRT again when I know I don't want it. It's not just a fear thing. It's a dysphoria thing.

    Any advice would be appreciated, and I hope I don't come off too bitter.

    Thanks,
    Alice
     
  2. Molko

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    Hi, I can relate somewhat around not wanting to go down hrt but have top surgery (ftm) - I felt that I struggled within the gender clinic a few years ago as the norm then was to take hormones etc but I didnt feel like that was right for me. I certainly knew top surgery was and had years of my life binding to back this up. I felt like I was being pushed down a path to do something I didnt want to do in order to have top surgery. I even considered it, but it just didnt feel right. I’m not masculine and that aside theres so many reasons why it wasnt for me, but the only reason then there was to do it felt like because they were telling me to and holding surgery referrals above my head.

    Things have hopefully changed a lot over the last five years. I went private and fortunately found a dr who could refer me and it seemed i’ve not been alone with this either, he’d get a lot of people who’d had to turn to him because they didn’t cognitively fit.

    Your journey is your journey, don’t compromise who you want to be. Its been a pain in the hole ngl. But you summed it up really well, don’t betray yourself. And from someone who can relate, it can work out.

    I’m not sure how the system works in your country and the surgery you want is way more intrusive and complicated then my no-t top surgery but i think your doing the right thing asking questions, doing research and I hope you find some awnsers. I’d gather it all and find out your options then take them to the proffesionals to see what is available to you but also don’t be afraid to get a second opinion. I’d recommend finding out about trans surgeons and maybe booking a consultation to see what maybe possible.

    I really do wish you all the best with everything and hope you find the awnsers your looking for.
     
    #2 Molko, Jan 18, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2019
  3. AliceSlick

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    It seems that there is an option, unless there simply isn't room for a fully functional vagina in the penile/scrotal area and they have to remove the testacles for reasons of space. Obviously most vaginas are far larger than that, but I'm not sure yet whether that's a requirement or not. Also,, I don't really care if the inside of it looks like a cis vagina as long as it's still a functional erogenous zone and doesn't impair my ability to have orgasms.
     
  4. Mihael

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    Have you thought about having anal sex? Or is it not what you want. There are plenty of men on this forum that you can ask questions about anal.
     
  5. AliceSlick

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    I
    I have thought about itbut as long asI can remember putting anything in my ass has always hurt )even wiping is painful) so that really doesn't work well for me. I wish it did.
     
  6. Mihael

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    Maybe you can ask the MAAB folks on this site, I've seen quite many threads on this topic. It's not an uncommon concern. Anyway, just suggesting.
     
  7. furfrou950

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    OPTIONS THAT DONT... HRT..?
    im so sorry
     
  8. Molko

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    I’m not sure what you’re asking or apologising for.