1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

No one knows i’m maybe bisexual

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ares24, May 16, 2020.

  1. Ares24

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2020
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Philippines
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi i’m new to this forum. Signed up for the sole purpose of just letting it out. I think I may be bisexual. I’m a 26yr old girl by the way. Always dressed, acted and even dated straight. I’ve had sex with guys like maybe a little too much but never been with a girl or whatever. It’s just that sometimes I feel like I’m also sexually attracted to girls. I’ve been with a lot of guys but I never really had a serious and stable relationship. I’ve kissed girls as well but just for fun.

    I always felt empty. By the way, my family is really conservative and homophobic. Even my siblings are a little homophobic as well. And to be honest, I was as well, just to hide the fact that I may be also one. No one knows this, and I don’t think there will come a time where I can say this upfront to anyone who knows me personally. Just the thought of it makes me anxious.

    It makes me lonely. I guess I wrote in this forum just to get it off my chest.
     
    Bisurprise likes this.
  2. Joelle b

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2020
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Possibly the moon
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Yes. Being bisexual or just gay in general is hard when you have an homo family. I have a family who is more accepting but we live in a very homo community and I can’t come out right now. I want to, but I am so mentally fragile that if tons of people openly were disgusted by me and if I got kicked out I could commit Suicide again- try, that is. But honestly once I am better I am going to come out because fuck them if they don’t like me, yeah?
    But it’s ok to not come out, also. Here’s the thing, you are bi and that is a part of you, but there is no reason to tell your family right now. The anxiety of imagining what would happen if they knew is stressful, and I had to deal with that, well, avoid dealing with that for a while.
    The only advice I have is to pretend that you have a close friend that is coming out and ask a siblings advice and gauge where they are by that, because you really don’t know what they might think till you really ask.
    Other then that I just wanted you to know that I feel you and I am sorry you also have to go through this❤️
    xoxo
     
    Bisurprise likes this.
  3. Ares24

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2020
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Philippines
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Wow

    You don’t know how much your reply means to me. It’s like someone knows how I’m feeling right now and actually understands. Yeah same with you I have this tendency to spiral out from time to time. I used to get super drunk most of the time so I would feel less lonely and hook up with randoms just to make me feel better. But it ends with me feeling more trashy.

    With time I’m learning to actually consider myself as bi rather than ignore it. But yeah my sisters are not homophobic when it comes to other people but rather just gets disgusted when we are the ones involved in that matter. Life’s just a bitch sometimes. Here’s to baby steps!!
     
    Bisurprise and rktonks like this.
  4. a cow gorl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2020
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    America
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm so proud of you making steps to coming out! I love that you have members of your family that is accepting, and most people would ignore that part of themselves if they were you. I hope you figure out your sexuality and you can come out to all of your family. :grin:
     
    Bisurprise likes this.
  5. MPC

    MPC
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2020
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I am in a similiar boat, I recommend trying it out. I did, and it helped me a long this journey that is life, to get me closer to finding out who I am. Also, I found out something jaw dropping as well, https://www.rainbow-project.org/internalised-homophobia , not sure if you match up with any of that, but I found I did, and at least, I have somewhere to start on working on me.

    Best of luck!

    P.S. also a god resource site
     
    Bisurprise likes this.
  6. BiGemini87

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    235
    Location:
    Petawawa, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It certainly makes things harder when all the people around you (people you love and respect) take issue with people of different orientations. These views do tend to colour your own, which of course makes it harder to come to terms with the possibility.

    I encourage you to take time to examine this part of yourself in full honesty, without judging yourself: what makes you think you're bisexual? If you weren't surrounded by homophobic people, would you seek relationships with other women? Have you ever been drawn to them/found them attractive, only to shut that part of yourself down?

    Speaking from personal experience, I spent a lot of time trying to explain away any fantasies, thoughts, etc. of other women as being anything other than bisexuality. I always thought it was "just normal" to sometimes have these thoughts or feelings. Half the time, I didn't recognize those attractions for what they were--that's how deep in denial I was.

    Everyone's experiences are different: try to be patient with yourself, and above all, try to keep any shame at bay. You can't help who or what you're attracted to or how you feel. If you're not safe to come out yet, don't. But if, once you've sorted all this out, you feel ready and you're safe to do so, you might find those family members aren't as intolerant as they are towards people they don't know.
     
  7. Bisurprise

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2020
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This is a great link, I definately recognized some of the traits on there..