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Next Step

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Green010, Jul 24, 2018.

  1. Green010

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2018
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hey,

    I finally came out of the closet! I told my best female friend that I'm gay and I really feel like it was the right thing to do. I was visiting her (she's living in an other part of the country) and I stayed for the weekend. After hearing some great advices and helpful stories on EC, I had this urge to tell someone in real life. I thought this girl would be the right person to tell first and this weekend the right time. We went out a lot and it was hard to find the proper moment (beeing undisturbed and sober at the same time plus feeling "ready"), but I finally snatched up and told her (well, it was quite awkward because I lost my tongue). She was really suprised and felt immediately sorry for all the awkward situations and gay jokes she made haha. We talked very long about my coming out and she was really supportive. Besides, she advised to come out to my best friends too (we're a "group of four") and I think she's right.

    The only "problem" is that my other best friends are male. I don't know why but I think it's something different coming out as gay to the same sex especially because I made them think I'm totally straight for years now (they think I'm just really shy and try to set me up to girls almost every opportunity). I even had a one-year- relationship with a girl and we always talked about girls and stuff like that- typical "boy talk". I'm not afraid that they might reject me or something like that, I'm just worried that our friendship could change. I mean if you told a girl who loves guys that you're into guys too, she probably would find that less strange than a straight boy would. Well, maybe those thoughts are total crap...
    That's why I wanted to ask you guys if someone has made some experiences coming out to the same sex. Was it really different or even harder? And moreover, did something change regarding to your friend-/relationship or the way your same-sex-friends see you or act in your presence? My biggest fear is that they will create a certain distance.

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. Biguyjosh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2018
    Messages:
    523
    Likes Received:
    115
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    One guy friend did start distancing himself after I told him and eventually we stopped talking. My two best guy friends were ok and nothing changed. Were still good friends and hang out when were back home. It was a little awkward at first b/c we use to joke about stuff and they didn't know what to do about the joking but I told them it was all cool and I didn't want anything to change.