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New MTF

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by freemef, May 30, 2020.

  1. freemef

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2020
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Haverhill, MA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hello All, 28 year old here. I decided to join this site because even though I’ve known my whole life, I made the concrete decision to become a woman on May 28. MTF. I have not told a soul yet but in my mind I’m so relieved to talk about myself with female pronouns. I’m telling my therapist on Monday, and made an appointment with another therapist for the following day that specializes in this topic.

    I don’t know when or how to tell my family (parents and brother). I’ve been living as a gay man for 12 years but it’s not me. They did come around mostly to me being so though in a pretty good amount of time. Part of me wants to get it over with but I’m terrified.

    I’m looking to make some connections on here with others like me or allies.
     
  2. LaurenSkye

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,167
    Likes Received:
    142
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Welcome and congratulations on coming to your decision to transition. I, myself am a non-binary MTF person. I use they/them pronouns with myself and my close friends (who are trans themselves, we met through I trans support group). I have just recently started to use my chosen name, Lauren. So far the only places I use my new name are here and on Instagram, though I plan to tell one close friend soon, and if I'm happy with being called this, I will tell the other people in my trans group the next time we are able to have a meeting. I like to try my best to appear feminine though I never come close to passing, basically just looking like a cross-dresser.

    I'm still closeted with my family. I'm fairly certain that most of my family would at least accept me and support me regardless of their overall views on the issue, it's just the idea of telling them is so hard. I do think that they know or suspect that I'm gay, though I personally feel like that fact that I am AMAB and attracted to men is just a small part of who I am.
     
    SkylarStar and freemef like this.
  3. Phoenix92

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    94
    Location:
    Albuquerque NM
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome, my Sister!
    I’m so glad you’ve come to accept yourself for who you are!
    I came out to my family in a way that was the best for me(at the time), via text messaging. I did apologize to my mother that I wasn’t going to be able to fulfill the plans she’d made, and told her my chosen name(it came to me the night I accepted myself). I never said the word “transgender”, but she knew. She then told my father. My sister was brought in, and she asked if she could tell others(with the proviso that they people she tell not spread it.)
    I did come out to a couple groups the day I had my revelation, and got an amazing amount of support.
    With work, I set up a meeting to discuss a major life change, which they realized what it was about. And they were super supportive.
    Following the meeting(and being given the day off because of nerves(I’d had 4 mugs of coffee that morning), I made a post about a major life change coming up and invited anyone who wanted to know to message me. More people than I could have anticipated inquired.
    I came out to pretty much everyone else within 2 months of my own revelation. The main coming out was via a FB post, written on the way home from the Texas Gay Rodeo that year.
    Almost everyone who was told was immediately supportive. Initially my little brother was hesitant, when he was told his response to our mother: “I think he’s just going through a phase, just looking for attention”. He’s since come around(I think the hormones and the name change helped)
    The only person who has yet to come around is my Paternal Grandmother.

    Before I came to accept myself, I did “girl mode” it more and more, either subtly(wearing unpadded bras under tank top under my work uniform) or more overtly(padded bra, dress, high heels). I actually did “Girl Mode” it the night I had my epiphany.
    But the “am I trans” to the “I am trans” was a surprise to no one but myself.
    My epiphany was Valentine’s Day 2018, I got onto hormones in March of that year, fully out (grandparents excluded) beginning of April, fully out to grandparents end of May, name change in June.
    yes, I was rapid in my coming out, getting hormones, and my name change, but I needed to be that rapid for my own mental health.
     
    SkylarStar and freemef like this.
  4. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    850
    Likes Received:
    947
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Welcome Freemef!

    I'm another mtf who has recently had the same revelation. Like you, I've made my decision but feel like I am only in the foothills of what will be a long arduous journey. I've applied for gender therapy but because of Covid 19 and the slow way the National Health Service moves in the UK it is likely to be months before I can speak to anybody.

    I totally relate to this. I desperately want to get the 'coming out bit' done but it's utterly terrifying.
     
    Clara7 and freemef like this.