Hello I am a 46 year old guy and I am trying to figure out where I fit in and belong. I’m glad to have found this sight and hope to find some answers. I posted a thread under sexual orientation and would appreciate feedback? If anyone would oblige me? I might just be a very confused person, but the feelings of confusion are becoming more frustrating.
Hey SelfT! Welcome to EC. I'm new here too, but I've already found a lot of help. If you don't hear as much feedback as you want on a post, make sure to look at what others have posted. A lot of people here are going through similar situations, and they have great advice. Just remember that you're not alone in what you're going through. Being confused isn't fun, but there is nothing wrong with it. Questioning to find out your true self, regardless of the answer you come up with, is always a good thing.
Thanks I feel like it should be starting me in the face, if it is, I can’t see it. It’s like at what point do you give up the ghost?
Sexuality and gender identity, and the process of questioning them, is complicated. Don't feel like you need to rush to identify a certain way. And if you feel like none of the labels apply to you, that's fine. You don't need one. You just need to be yourself, whoever that is. I along, with most of the people on here, have spent a lot of time figuring ourselves out. I feel relatively comfortable in who I am, but it took a long time to get there, and I'm still questioning to a degree. I hope EC helps you find some of the answers you're lucking for. Good luck in your journey.
Hello and Welcome. I think it's sort of normal to be confused at a certain time of your life. Just try to find who you are as a person, get comfortable in your own skin so to speak and find out what drives you and what interests captures your heart. I didn't find myself until last year and I found out that I have a love for poetry and I'm better at expressing myself through writing. Find who you are inside. It doesn't matter what sexuality you are. Labels are pretty stupid anyways. I love woman and I know this about myself. Just try to figure out who you are as a person first and do things that interests you. Pretty soon you'll be able to figure yourself out overtime. So I can understand your confusion and frustration. Try to be a little bit more gentle on yourself.
Thanks I am one of those “fixer” type of guys just trying to help me be a better me. So I have been obsessing more and more about me and how to come to terms with myself (however it may turn out”. My hope is that I will gain more understanding of myself and how to control my feelings and PTSD and how I treat myself, my son, and my wife. Settling my feelings regarding my orientation I think is paramount but logically I fear it may mean the end of my marriage. That really scares me since I wouldn’t have anywhere to go.
Hi selft We know what your going through I have recently admitted to myself that I'm gay and I have been married for 30yrs but my kids are grown up know but I don' want to tell them because I don' want it to end but I believe sooner or later I will have to tell them . For my sake and there's its a scary thought . Ad for you coming to terms and exepting yourself that can take time . I have been on here for just a short time and this site has helped me accept myself for who I am Hope some of this helps I am not to good with words
I don’t want to beat around the bush but after some serious soul searching, meditation, and work on identifying my feelings ( childhood emotional neglect). I am bi-sexual leaning towards the gay side of the Kinsey scale
That is a long time . For me it' been there but sepressed in my mind for so long till it kick started up 5yrs ago . How have you dealt with it for so long
I think I always suspected something but I explained it away as being more sensitive to women rather than being a typical guy. I have a history of childhood emotional neglect and abuse/ childhood rape. Suppressing my feelings and just not dealing/ processing them became my “norm” Trying to recover I discovered that I have been attracted to more men than women. I have poured myself into my relationship with my wife and now my son. I don’t think it is healthy though for me to deny this other part of me any longer. It is something I am trying to own and I am bracing myself for the backlash I perceive is coming, be it real or imagined. Sexual attraction however it manifests in me is something I compartmentalized, and am slowly trying to bring the walls down to better understand it and enjoy life.
Well good luck in bringing those walls down and I hope you can better understand it all and enjoy life
