I've made an online friend through my best friend. We've only been talking (mostly text) for about a month but hit it off strangely well as we have a lot in common. It's rather obvious she's gay from the things she likes and shares, she isn't hiding it but she hasn't flat out said she's into women. I haven't tried very hard to hide the fact I'm bi, though I haven't flat out said it either. I'm not interested in dating her, she lives far away and we have some stark differences. I don't think she's interested either as we have both use language that denotes friendship. As a friend though, she's a breath of fresh air from the drama of my best friend (ironic since I met her, through said friend). She's seems a very positive, good, and healthy person. Just talking with her has given me much needed life perspective in what's improtant. So honestly, a valuable friendship I don't want to screw up. We mostly talk about stuff we like: movies, food, games, shows, art, etc and sometimes daily going ons or family. Nothing too heavy. Sometimes I'll muse a bit out loud but I keep a tight reign on it. I've been staying away from anything heavy and I do not want to bring this woman into my problems especially about my mutual friend. Nor over step my bounds into her business. She has a son and has only recently mentioned "his dad" once in passing. She added me to her facebook and I know she is single and is only interested in women only. I'd like to ask her about it casually, but I feel like it would be prying. I guess maybe I want to talk to her more openly about being gay. I guess I don't know how or its hard too.
Well is there anything you can relate back to sexuality like a movie, show or piece of art? That might make the segue a little easier. Maybe put something out there that’s not so subtle, I wore a shirt that I got for volunteering at a pride festival which did lead to a couple conversations.
Yeah, especially since she shares quite a few lesbian related items like couples, music, posts, etc. But I think I get nervous and my creativity falls flat in creating a segue. I guess I could try sharing something LGBT related but I'm still thinking of what. It doesn't help I don't have a favorite lesbian movie/show (I've seen very few) or have a fav gay related song. Maybe I can ask her if she has any recommendations. I also can't publically post LGBT related stuff online so I can't get away with a passive expression of gay-ness lol.
Hey it's great you made a new friend. I think the best way to bring it up is by somehow relating it back to yourself almost like you haven't really paid much attention to her stuff whilst at the same time being safe in the knowledge she is LGBT friendly
You're overthinking this I think, you said she's open on her facebook. So it's public*ish* knowledge that she's already shared with you. Something like, Hey I saw on your FB that you're only interested in women, *this is where you share something about your sexuality* I was wondering if i could pick your brain some. something like that anyway. whatever the case, she's friends with you on FB her preference is public knowledge no reason to .. hide it?
Overthinking is my speciality Part of the overthinking is that I've been worried about appropriateness and boundaries in friendships. I've been trying to cultivate healthier relationships in general, which I guess leave me a bit anxious of sharing, asking, or trusting too much too soon with new people I meet. I want to be wiser in who I befriend and how I conduct those friendships. I think you're likely right though. She's open enough about her sexuality, that I don't think it would be rude or wrong to say "Me too" and ask her how that has effected her.
