Hello, everyone! As all of you see, I have never had a romantic or long-term sexual relationship with anyone. My sexual desire was never so prominent, and thinking about my sexual preference is more confusing than it is clear. I still watch bisexual porn from time to time, but my libido doesn't seem as compulsive as that of most people. I don't often feel the need to relieve myself. On top of never having had a relationship, I have social anxiety and try to avoid social interact. So, what does this make me in LGBTQIA terms? I feel left out, included, and confused all at the same time. And rereading this sentence confuses me further.
Hello, @Papaya! I'm sorry you've been struggling regarding your sexuality. Your lack of sex drive could be the result of any number of things, and I'm inclined to think your social anxiety might be playing a part. It's also possible you're asexual, but as asexuality is rare in the grand scheme of things, your anxiety is probably the deciding factor, here. It's also possible that you just have a naturally low sex drive, in which case there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone varies, and it often fluctuates throughout a person's lifetime. Libido aside, the thing to focus on is how you feel about either sex, not how much experience you've had. Have you developed crushes on anyone, and if so, has it been one or both? Do you see a pattern in the types of people you're attracted to, is there a difference in how you've felt depending on the person's sex, or has it varied from person-to-person regardless? I hope this is of some help, at least, and that it will help you find clarity in your journey.
I'm inclined to agree that social anxiety and lack of social interaction may be significant to how you feel. It's also possible you may be depressed and this would certainly have a supressing effect on libido. Have you always felt anxious about social situations and interaction, or does it seem to have gained prominence in recent years? Can you maybe look back to when it all began? While these issues are lingering in the background it's difficult to reach any firm conclusions about your sexuality, but you seem to lean towards bisexual and maybe that's a good holding position for now until you can get a better handle on your feelings and emotions. Would you be willing to do some work with a counsellor to try to address the root causes of your anxiety? Maybe in doing this you will gain greater perspective and the confusion will clear. What do you think?
Afternoon Papaya, Just because you have not had any sort of romantic or any sort of intensity relationship does not change the person you are, and your sexual desire will change from time to time and it can get super confusing it really can. not having a relationship and having social anxiety can stop you from wanting to mix with anyone due to the unknown who will tend to me when i need it etc, your not alone I have social anxiety so i can agree. I hate mixing with people it makes me break down. Ayla
Anxiety and/or depression can severely inhibit sexual arousal and attraction. One of the most common misnomers in the field, which is unfortunately being perpetrated by the evidence- and science-free crowd promoting a bunch of bogus sexual orientations, is that asexuality (or any of the nonexistent variants of asexuality) are common "sexual orientations." While asexuality is, in fact, a sexual orientation, it is hardwired and rare. BUT... there are an astoundingly large number of people, especially millennials and gen-zs, that have anxiety, depression, or other mood disorders. Those mood disorders severely inhibit sexual arousal, attraction, and expression. So it mimics asexuality (or, again one of the many bogus unrecognized, evidence-free spectrum labels), but it is wildly different. One is a hardwired, unchangeable sexual orientation. The other is an underlying mood disorder. Mood disorders can be addressed with therapy. What you are describing, while I can't diagnose, sounds like it could be consistent with a mood disorder that could be impacting your capacity to fully experience sexual attraction and arousal. In addition, what you are describing would make it difficult, even if you did feel attraction, to actually do anything about it. So in order to answer the question about your sexual orientation, you're going to need to address the underlying mood issues that are impacting your capacity to experience your sexual self. Does that make sense?
