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*nervous wave*

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by hexamum, May 7, 2017.

  1. hexamum

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    Hi.
    I've not been about for a few months.
    My brain has been all over the place.
    It's ok owning the label, or fitting in the lesbian box.....but acting on it, and adapting life to that, is soooo much harder.

    Very short back-history, as I've been AWOL..... 43. Kids. Married to a guy. Lesbian. Told Husband, but he has his head so far in the sand it's just his toes poking out!!

    So it's been 8 months since I told him. There's been no contact whatsoever between us. It's awkward. He acts as if everything is normal. :dry::icon_sad:

    I wish I could go back to faking it. But I've soooo outgrown that box, there's no way I can get back in it.

    I just wish it didn't affect my mental health so much. I am pretty highly strung every day, and it's tiring. So exhausting :bang:

    (&&&)
     
  2. Worker Bee

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    Hi there. I'm Cam. If you want/need someone to talk to post on my wall. I'll always reply.

    Have you spoken to him about a divorce or separating?
     
  3. Rob in FL

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    By contact, do you mean physical contact, i.e., sex?

    Because if so then your husband should meet my wife. I'm in the same situation except that I have allowed it to go on for eight years. You've come to the right place. Lots of good, empathetic and informed advice is available here.
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    If you told him previously, yet he is continuing as if nothing has happened, then it's time both for another discussion as well as taking action so he knows things are not what he once perceived.

    You need to push forward and progress on your journey. Don't let him slow you down.
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    If it is affecting your mental health, you need to dig deep and confront the issue, because things will only worsen if you don't. Your mental health is so important and you don't want all of this stress and anxiety to hollow you out.

    I often find myself advising people to seek relationship counselling in these circumstances and I'm going to do it again. As you're in the UK, I would suggest Relate www.relate.org.uk to you. They are not just there to keep people together against all odds, but can facilitate a mature and sensible separation. Even if your husband is not ready to go with you, go alone, talk it through and see if you can formulate a plan and way forward.

    Nothing about your situation is easy, but it's not easy to carry on as you are either. Sometimes the pain of confronting the issue is less than the pain of inaction.