Hi everyone, So I’ve been posting a lot but have calmed down a bit about this trans thing. I’ve been kind of accepted myself somewhere on the spectrum and even feel good enough to enjoy a non obsessive night with my dad. However as of right now I’m back at it and I have just one thing I’m super nervous about and that is my penis. I have loved it in the past and have never been ashamed about it but during the last week I’ve felt detached from it. Since then it’s been difficult to get aroused and I’m fairly nervous about it going inside my body and enjoying that. I even feel discomfort with it which really sucks now. I had sex with my gf last week without issue and I see her tomorrow and I’m terrified it isn’t going to work. is this common? I’m worried that this will lead to the end of my penis. I’m not really interested in pursuing breast or estrogen right now so now I’m scared only my penis I’ll want to get rid of it. sounds crazy but I’m uneasy about this…
Again, this sounds like unresolved, irrational anxiety on the OCD spectrum. Please consider seeing a therapist for a mental health workup to assess for OCD.
Thanks. Last night I went to bed kind of realizing how stress ridden I am with this stuff and had to weird dreams again. Woke up with my genitals being sore and began instantly worrying and thinking I’m trans. I went to bed calm realizing I was a good looking guy who doesn’t really have desires for feminine stuff but then woke up today saying I’m a trans woman and now can’t look at myself in the mirror and don’t want to leave my bed. Yet unlike before I’m calm and accepting of these thoughts yet terrified to act them out and be like oh I am this or that… I can’t even go outside to put my kayak on my car because I’m too ashamed of my body, that ive become weak, or don’t want to be seen without a shirt where that Idt has been an issue up until this point… idk…should I seek out a regular therapist or one in the LGBT?
I would focus on finding a therapist with a specialty in OCD. It's unlikely you'll find an LGBT therapist who is also a specialist with OCD. The OCD experience is more important here than the LGBT issues.
