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Need some advice please

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Garm147, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. Garm147

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    So... English isnt my native language and i do need some advice on what do you think it really means when btw 2 friends with a strong friendship, very strong ( both female and lesbians) this:
    "i love you"
    "You i'll be always my love"
    "My beloved"
    "Our love will always be there"

    This sentences were writem btw my gf and a friend of her.... As far as i know they were pen pals and they were face to face just one time before we began our relantionship...

    I feel lost:confused:
     
    #1 Garm147, Aug 18, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2016
  2. PatrickUK

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    I'm assuming the conversation didn't take place in English, but you have accurately translated it for us? If indeed that is the case, I would suggest there is a bit of an issue here. I can totally understand how two friends can be very close and even say they love each other (because friendship is a kind of platonic love), but the language they are choosing implies something deeper.

    How did you come across this conversation?
     
  3. xClemKrczx

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    Which context was that written?
     
  4. BenFreeman

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    I think it depends very much so on the context. I habitually tell people I love them! But in the context I say it it doesn't mean anything romantic. It's also in the way that you say it...and the way people understand each other...the words themselves don't necessarily mean anything...
    How does she normally use these words? Does she randomly say "love you" to other friends or is it just this one person?
    Clearly you suspect somethings going on... Maybe that's what matters here...how is your relationship otherwise???
     
  5. Garm147

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    Fist of all... Thanks you all for being here.




    So.. The conversation took place in english ( not the native language for none of us - me, my gf and her friend).
    I've written this almost word by word.

    I saw the conversation in our computer that we share.

    ---------- Post added 18th Aug 2016 at 09:21 PM ----------

    So.. They were first a kind of pen pals for some time, then they met once before we began our relationship. Only a few years later she came out to my gf.

    They usully "talk" by messenger and maybe they talk by phone. Her friend leves in another country.

    ---------- Post added 18th Aug 2016 at 09:25 PM ----------

    I'm in this relationship for almost 14 years and the last 2 or so i feel we are growing apart... Almost no sex, a little bit more of cudling and so... Sometimes i feel she is loosing me and dont realize that

    Somedays i fell we are a little more than 2 roomates and i'm getting used to be like this.
     
    #5 Garm147, Aug 18, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2016
  6. PatrickUK

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    Well, the fact that none of you speak English as a first language could be part of the problem. I don't know how fluently your girlfriend, or her friend, speaks/writes English, but there could be some miscommunication going on. In English, you might tell a friend that you love them, but as a rule, you wouldn't refer to them as "My beloved". If none of you speak English as a first language though, you may not fully appreciate these 'rules'.

    If the conversation wasn't hidden, it's probably nothing to worry about, but I'm wondering if you have concerns about their friendship?
     
  7. Garm147

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    Well... Despite our native language be diferent we all know what "my beloved" means..
    The conversation wans't hidden but it was in her facebook that she let logged. I know i've broke the trust... But when i asked about the conversation she had deleted some parts abd then she told me to go read it...
    What i know is that she still doesent trust me like she did but i can't trus her either...
     
  8. BenFreeman

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    It goes without saying that trust is the bedrock of a relationship. And you say you hardly having sex just cuddles...I think you need to try and rekindle your relationship...If somebody else is making a play for your girl, try and remind yourselves why you are together...take her on a date!...spoil her....do something you did together when you first met....see where that takes you...
    best wishes