1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Need advice on an email as a response to a toxic coworker?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Shane is tired, Nov 22, 2022.

  1. Shane is tired

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2022
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Miami
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So has been causing issues first she stopped me from training an important thing at work, then she gossips about me, she is trying to take me down. Now we have a new manager and she has been sending passive aggressive emails and cc her like she is our boss my coworker has no title above us. Her last email she said that we should work hard and not expect others to do stuff ... etc. the thing is this coworker just screwed up at work this week too she always violates safety guidelines and literally put others in danger. She is just creating a hype so the new manager would think that she is the boss. What to respond to this email. I want to write something like this “
    Every single team member in the department works very hard and goes above and beyond not only to get things done but also to give a top-notch patient care. I do not think anyone has nor will have this mentality of "someone else will do it". I believe these statements will just cause an unhealthy work environment and decrease productivity.
    We have to remember that we do not have a lead tech nor a supervisor, we have to treat each other with respect and as teammates.
    Managers here are setting a great example of amazing communication skills and leadership. Treat everyone with respect, make everyone feel included and welcomed and part of the team.
    There are many things that can improve, training should be a priority. Then communication skills, we have to make everyone in the department feel like a part of the team. We are a small group; we have to lift each other up instead of brining each other down. ” what do you think? What should I write to be passive aggressive but also notify the manager that she is a shitty person. And she is not in charge
     
  2. Shorthaul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2016
    Messages:
    1,498
    Likes Received:
    231
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Unless the manager is completely oblivious, they probably already know something is up with your coworker. I think what you wrote is really professional and not finger pointy, but they will know you are talking about them.
     
  3. bsg75apollo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    474
    Likes Received:
    568
    Location:
    Chicagoland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Actually, I wouldn't go the route of responding to the email as a group response in that manner. I would actually send two emails. One to your direct supervisor that clearly and definitively outlines your concerns in a matter of fact way. If you want to respond to the group as a whole as well, that one can be more of a defense of coworkers way that negates being thrown under the bus. I personally have no room for passive aggressive. It never puts the one being passive aggressive in a good light. There is a way to be professional, courteous, and assertive without being passive aggressive. Passive aggression comes from a position of weakness.
     
    #3 bsg75apollo, Nov 22, 2022
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2022
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  4. Shane is tired

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2022
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Miami
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I was thinking about just sending this to her and cc the manager.
     
  5. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,175
    Likes Received:
    2,348
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Shane.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) :old_big_grin: when that becomes necessary! I'm so sorry that you are having problems at your work. One person can make a work place really difficult for everybody. I don't have a suggestion for your response as I think that you are the one who is in the situation and so you are the one who is best suited to handle the problem. I do support you in that you are taking action rather than just letting the problem slide and I think that making sure that you involve your superiors is really important. Good luck with this problem and please keep us updated...we do care! :old_smile:

    *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: :old_cool:

    *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership.

    *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! :old_rolleyes: If you have any questions at all, you can send me a Private Message.

    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  6. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    ^^This.**

    Office politics are complicated and there's no universal right answer, but being honest and straightforward is always a good plan. Speaking to your supervisor separately, without calling out your co-worker publicly is probably the route I'd take.
     
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  7. BiGemini87

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,318
    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    In agreement with @bsg75apollo and @Chip: Passive aggression is unlikely to paint you in a positive light, and less likely to help sort out the issue at hand. A direct, professional list of your concerns to a higher up and if necessary, a direct one-on-one with the co-worker in question would be best. It might not go well, it might be uncomfortable--but it's better to be direct than to dance around the issue.
     
  8. Aspen

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2014
    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    239
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I’m also with bsg75apollo and Chip on this one. That isn’t an email you should be sending because it’s a message that should be coming from your supervisor. If they’re at all competent, they’ll already know that your coworker is the issue here. They should also already be aware that your coworker isn’t charge, because that’s literally their job as the supervisor.

    What you should do is go to your supervisor directly, about all of this. Ask for a meeting in person, if possible, and focus on the fact that she’s blocking you from training and violating safety guidelines. The less personal you can approach this conversation, the better.