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Need Advice (Bisexual or Lesbian?)

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Yese, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. Yese

    Regular Member

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    Not out at all
    Hello! This is my first time here and I came across this site by looking for a chat room or an app that would let me just open up. I would like some advice or just someone to talk to. I just want to say everything that's going through my mind right now so this might be long.

    To start off I am a 22 year old female. I have identified myself as straight my whole life to others but never felt it. I don't know if I'm bisexual or lesbian. I have never talked to anyone about this but I think it's time I found some help/answers because I'm starting to become really depressed. I don't know who I am and I have completely closed myself off. I don't have any friends that I talk to anymorebecause they have all moved on with their boyfriends. I just feel that my life is goingnowhere.

    My first crush ever was on a girl and it was when I was in elementary school. I was in 3rd grade. I had a lot of boys who were my friends but I never liked any of them. I've always been more attracted to girls. Throughout middle school and high school I always had crushes on girls. Maybe once I had a crush on a guy in high school but he was my friend and I think I just liked the idea of me liking him because it would make me feel "normal".

    At this point in my life I do not know what I identify as. I feel that I could be in a relationship with a guy or a girl emotionally. Sexually I definitely wouldn't want to be touched by male or female. It just makes me uncomfortable. I do not mind being the one who does the touching and stuff but I have never liked being touched. I'm more physically attracted to girls. Always have. I always tell myself that maybe I just haven't met the right guy to be attracted to but I think that's just me not accepting myself.

    My family is very strict and I have no idea how they would react. It scares me even thinking about explaining it to them. I probably won't do it unless I fall in love for sure with a girl.

    But Yeah, that's all that comes to mind right now. There's so much more but this is getting long. I would like to hear someone's feedback. What do you think I am? I really don't know anything about the LGBT community so if someone could help me out that would be awesome.
     
  2. Louisianne

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    Hey
    Wow it s like i read my own struggles. I m a female 20 years old person. I also was telling everybody that i m straight but i kned deep down i wasnt. My family is religious and homophobic like muslim religious. I m becomming to figure out a little bit now. I knew i wasnt straight but also with my masculanity it didn t help a lot.like i m wearing like a butch queer i think i m gay i m not sure but i think so. I have romance attraction at first and physical attraction this year.
    If you want to learn about rhis community maybe futur community you can watch videos in youtube it helps a lot. Also to just kiss a guy and a girl and see if it s diffrent .
    Give it time
     
  3. silverhalo

    Full Member

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    Hey welcome to EC. Don't worry you are not alone. Figuring out your sexuality can be frustrating and complicate but EC is a great place to do it. Nobody can tell you for sure what you are but we can help you figure it out. Labels are not really the important thing but they are something that we generally take great comfort in. It sounds a lot from what you have written that you might be a lesbian. It sounds like you haven't ever really felt the attraction to a guy that you have felt for a girl. You have male friends and when you are friends with a guy a relationship doesn't feel like a horrendous idea but that because of how society is that is perhaps maybe just you thinking you'd like that. Of course sexuality is far from gay, straight and bi, it's very much a sliding scale and so you could be bisexual just with a preference to girls. How you chose to identify is totally up to you and the best thing you can do is pick the one that feels most right to you.
     
  4. Iphigenia

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    Hi! I can definitely relate to your confusion. From what you have written, it sounds like you may be gay. But you should remember that labels are an excellent way to make yourself feel validated, but you shouldn't rush to put a name on who you are. Take some time to consider yourself and your situation (journaling is a good way to get your thoughts out), maybe find an LGBT+ support group (my university has one, for example) and talk to someone there who can relate to your situation. Maybe download a lesbian dating app (like HER) and just talk to some other gay girls.

    Know that you're not alone! Considering your sexuality to scaring and confusing but don't give up!
    hopefully this has been a little helpful!
     
  5. zkdorko

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    Hey!

    It took me some time to understand and fully accept myself.. so being confused is absolutely normal. I've also found myself to like both genders starting elementary school.. and really didn't confirm my sexuality until college. In high school, I was really confused and it definitely was depressing as I was in a elationship with my own best friend... and mostly kept things hidden, which made it so much harder to fully understand myself. As soon as we broke up and went through all the heartbreak, I knew for sure I was bisexual as I dated a handful of men and women after my ex-gf. Anyway.. it all takes time and it isn't easy, but if you need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me ☺
     
  6. zkdorko

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    Also.. based on your story, I'd say it's pretty similar to mine.. it's possible you might be bisexual.
     
  7. Mazely

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    This is soooo much like what I went through. My first crush was on a girl. I was 6. And I only liked girls throughout school. I tried to like guys because I knew it was "normal". I ID'd as bisexual for about a year because I thought that would make me liking girls better. More "normal". Then I ID'd as homosexual biromantic because I thought I could date a guy but not sleep with one. That title didn't last long. Only a couple of weeks. Now I ID as a lesbian. I think the main reason I thought I was bisexual is because I thought it would make it easier to be queer if I still liked guys. I told myself "it's okay if you like girls, but only if you also like guys". I hope this helps. I know how hard it is to question your sexuality.