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My 'straight' crush...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ace896, Apr 22, 2018.

  1. Ace896

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    Hey guys, I'm Alex and I'm new here. I kinda have a sticky situation... so, there's this guy at my school and I've had a crush on him for almost two years now? Anyway, we first properly got to know when he joined my form group in school, and since then we've got a bit closer. Now, I'm not a massively flamboyant gay guy (but I applaud those who are, you do you!) But apparently I give off a 'gay vibe' and the rumours that went around about me in school probably helped with that as well! Anyway, needless to say, this guy, who is confusingly also called Alex, figured it out. He asked me and I was honest and told him I was. He said that was cool, and he totally supported me in that. We met up shortly after and he admitted to me that he was kinda curious aswell, and that he was having doubts, but still refused to admit to being bi or whatever. He also said that he'd never be the one to initiate anything with a guy. So that was about a year and a bit ago and since then we've kinda stayed close but we don't talk a whole lot because we each have our own groups (he's a lot more popular than me). Now, he's kind of a player (which I find kinda hot for some reason?!) And he has a lot of sex but recently he's got a girlfriend who he seems to be really happy with. This is a huge bummer for me but I'm kind of over it. The only problem is, I still haven't gotten over him (try as I might) and I've only got 3 weeks left in this school (we are both planning on going to different 6th forms) and I feel like I should probably tell him I have a thing for him. but, not only am I a complete wuss, but I'm petrified of rejection and I can't really imagine him saying that he feels the same. So, what do I do?! I'm calling on anyone to help me out here.
    Thanks for reading this all!
    ~Alex
     
  2. Humbly Me

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    Not that this helps much but you should have told him the day he asked you. When he revealed that he had been having thoughts about guys or soon after before he became heavily active in dating.
     
  3. Ace896

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    Well, I ended up telling him how I felt. He was really nice about it, but he said he was straight and he valued me too much as a friend to see me as anything more than that. Kinda hit hard but I guess it was only right. Ah well!
     
  4. RainbowGreen

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    It's sad, but it's better that you told him in the long run.

    This way, you won't wonder what would have happened if you told him and you can move on quicker. Also, he's nice and you can stay friends, which is more than you could say in some cases.
     
  5. gaynonsense

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    That doesn't have to be a problem for you then. One of my closest friends is a straight dude that I'm quite fond of. He knows exactly how I feel about him, and we talk about it from time to time because neither of us want to make the other uncomfortable. He told me, when I first told him, that it changes nothing between us. We both agreed that our friendship was more important. It hasn't always been easy (he's currently talking to my god-sister, so situations like that), but we both care about each other and want the other to be happy.

    Honestly, at the end of the day, I think our friendship is all the better for it because we know we can always trust each other to be honest and to respect boundaries and the like. I'm sorry for you, as it certainly hurts, especially at first, but I'm also happy that he values your friendship enough to allow this not to be a problem.

    You have my best wishes and if you need a listening ear, I'm here!
     
  6. PJ94

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    Hey! I would like to share something with you, hoping you'll feel better. Last year I had a huuuuuge crush on one of my close friends. He is straight (ish) and we actually met through her girlfriend, since she was the sister of my bestfriend's boyfriend. We used to hang out at least twice a week and we usually would go out for drinks. He's younger than me but we got along really good. So of course I developed the biggest crush on him. I tried to move past it but I really couldn't. So one night we got really drunk at a friend's house and since we both were staying over we ended up drinking just the two of us after the party died down. After a lot of talking we ended up making out and then having sex, he even bottomed. So the next day we got to our homes and we messaged each other in the most awkward way possible. He told me he was so drunk he couldn't remember a thing. Long story short, it's been 6 months and we've literally seen each other twice. I tried to text him a couple of times and he always answers short messages like three days later or sometimes he just doesn't answer at all. He didn't invite me to his birthday and he didn't go to mine, because of course my weak ass invited him. We're really friendly when we see each other, but we're clearly just not friends anymore. And let me tell you something, it was not worth it. I got really sad afterwards, not because I wanted to date him or something, but because I missed my friend. And tbh I still do. I saw him like two weeks ago and I remembered how great we were together. So maybe sometimes it's better just to try to move on with your crush. I know it's really hard but having a good friend is always better in the long run. Hope it gets easier for you!!