Strictly speaking i guess this should be in the parents family members section but i am hoping for a little leeway because my thread relates to my situation rather than his. I absolutely have no issue with having a gay son, i am happy he realises this 20 years earlier than i realised. I am a single mum with two kids, a son of 20 and a daughter of 16. I have discussed my own situation here before so i will keep it brief. In my late 30's i met a woman i loved so much that denial was no longer an option. We were together for 1 year before i told my family and the thing that finally gave me the courage to come out to my kids was my then 13 year old daughter's honest, fearless announcement that she thought she might like girls as well as boys. So i came out to her in return, then my son and eventually parents, sister etc. So now two of the three of us were openly out (my daughter as bi, me as 'oh just stop asking me cause i don't know.) So tonight my son came out modelling his new pink tshirt, and trying to do it in a light hearted way said oh and speaking of pink shirts mum, i'm gay. So now we have one who is bi, one who is 'no really, stop asking, i still don't know' and one who is gay. This is going to be a major issue for my parents, who sadly have more tolerance for gay women than for gay men in some astoundingly stupid but disturbingly common bias. I know my son can handle it. He knows that all he has to be is himself because he was raised that way. I will support him through anything that comes and i will be strong for him when he is tired because he is my boy and i love him that much. Me however, OMG i am so scared lol! I am so sure i will get the blame for this because i have given the green light for this evil aberration as far as the parents are concerned because they still believe i chose to feel the way I do. I realise that this is a selfish concern, please cut me a little slack and help me work through this anxiety. I would love to know if there are other later in lifers here with a similar experience, rainbow kids of any type and how you have managed family, staying strong and setting a good example.
I think it's great that you have that open communication with your kids. and as for your parents, like my dad said when I came out as Bi, it's your lives to live, no one can do it for you. if they love him, you and your daughter, they'll put aside the prejedious. I've kept the communication open with my 19yr old and he came out last summer as Demi. we're moving ahead as a little queer family.
I told my daughter that i was bi and she then told me she was gay. Best conversation ever . I felt happy that my decision to be honest helped her to come out and be completely accepted by me for being the awesome person that she is. It is fun to have this in common. Not sure how the rest of the family will say since she hasn't come out to them but I have. I got to pave the way for her and they were accepting of me so I don't expect anything different when she comes out. I wouldn't worry too much about what people think. It would be silly to think that you being fluid makes them decide oh hey I want to be gay lol.
How old are your parents? I would hope they love and support you unconditionally? You've done nothing wrong. If they don't support you that's okay. You have a great family, love and support each other. I would love you if you were my mom I can't imagine being in your shoes though. It has got to be tough if you want to tell them that now their grandson is gay. It is crazy that the world is like this. There are so many other things to be concerned about besides letting people lead a happy life. Maybe try and find an LGBT support group that may be able to help guide you in the right direction? Maybe there is literature out there that you can let your parents read and digest before you give them the news. Do they have friends that maybe would be more understanding that could help you? Maybe talk with them. I wish you good luck in life and hope you have a good outcome.
Thanks everyone. I feel much better today. As time passed i realised i had more anxiety around my son and how his life will go from here. It's horrible to think of your kids facing homophobia, from family especially but from anyone really. I wish i could stop that from happening but i can't. He is a strong boy though, I have total faith in him. Billy the kid i don't think anyone has ever paid me a bigger compliment. My parents are in their 70's. I may not be your mum but if you are single it appears there is now potential for me to be your mother in law Lol!
