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My son came out to me, so I came out to him!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by quebec, Sep 30, 2020.

  1. quebec

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    Hello All.....Yesterday was my birthday...70 years old! In my head I'm about 22, so 70 sounds so very old to me. I guess I should be grateful as many men don't make it this far! Anyway...my middle son and his family came to visit and to grill a really nice steak dinner for my birthday. When my son got here he was acting a little odd. He kind of cornered me in my office when no one else was around and then said he needed to tell me something. He was actually shaking and had a lot of trouble with his words. After a few minutes, he managed to get out the words "I am Pansexual". He started to explain what that meant and I let him go on about how and why he felt that way. He had no idea that I knew exactly what being Pan meant, but I knew that he needed to say all those things and so I let him go on until he was finished. I reassured him that I understood and had no problem at all with it and gave him a big hug. I could see the relief in his eyes and even in his posture. All the while he was telling me this I was thinking...is this the time to come out to him? It made sense to do it, but as we all know, it's not easy when you've kept the secret for over forty years as I have. So I did it. I told him that his father who goes to church regularly and has never given even a hint of being queer is gay. He was stunned. Then he gave me a very big hug and we both cried for a little while. I have said several times over the years that of my three sons, he is the most like me. I guess I was more right than I knew! So now I am out to my wife, my two oldest sons, and a few close friends. That leaves only my youngest son and his wife. I think that I'll let that go for now. There's no real reason that is pushing me to come out to my youngest and perhaps something will happen as it did yesterday...who knows! All in all, it was a birthday to remember!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #1 quebec, Sep 30, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2020
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  2. HM03

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    Congrats, sounds like a very wholesome moment! And happy belated :grin:
     
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  3. QuietPeace

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    Congratulations, that does sound like a great birthday!
     
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  4. Adz6

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    Congratulations David,
    I hope all goes well with your son
    A very happy birthday
    Adz
     
    #4 Adz6, Sep 30, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2020
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  5. Tartanskrt

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    This is amazing to hear. What a beautiful moment for both of you. Well done.
     
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  6. NotTooLoud

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    OMG, that is the most awesome thing I have heard (with regard to coming out) in a very long time. How wonderful!!!
     
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  7. jessie19

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    Well i just want to say that i am glad you had the chance and that its out there, hope you guys have alot of smiles and less nervousness in the future
     
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  8. musicteach

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    This is so sweet and wholesome and I love it.
     
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  9. BiGemini87

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    Happy belated birthday! This is such a sweet, wholesome moment, and one I'm sure that will bring you two even closer together.
     
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  10. brainwashed

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    Great write up David. I have to confess I had to look up what pansexual meant. (from web definition) "not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity."

    You know the anti labeler (me) likes this label - pansexual.

    Our closest primate cousins, bonobos are very sexually active with each other, male, female, all of the above. Lol, why do we human's think we are any different? Oh because we intelligent right? Right!
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo
     
    #10 brainwashed, Oct 1, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2020
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  11. DecentOne

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    Happy Birthday!

    I am so glad your son came out to you.
    What a respectful way to allow him the chance to tell his story and explain. He must have thought about it all, and what to say so carefully. What a great Dad to give him the space to say it.
    And I’m glad you went ahead and told him too.
    Was the rest of the birthday time ok with him and his family? (Did they know he was going to do this?)
     
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  12. quebec

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    DecentOne.....Thanks for your post. No one else in the family knew anything about what happened between us. Just me and my son!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  13. Markieg64

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    Hi David congrats on you birthday ..... and im glad your son felt he could come to you and tell you he was pans . You must of been proud

    ...............Mark
     
  14. LostInDaydreams

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    Lovely story. :slight_smile: Thank you for sharing.

    Happy belated birthday and congratulations!
     
  15. Ram90

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    Whoops. I seemed to have missed this thread. @quebec Congratulations! I'm very, very happy for you. I was picturing the moment in my mind as I read your description of the day (Michael Douglas and Cameron Douglas playing you and your son of course. :grin:) and it was lovely! I could feel a warm, big rainbow balloon growing inside of me, filling me with joy as I finished reading your post. Congratulations, once again!
     
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  16. KeLeWi

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    What a great example of unconditional love and acceptance! Thank you for sharing.
     
  17. Mirko

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    Thank you for sharing your story. What a wonderful story. :slight_smile:
     
  18. RD Spencer

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    It good to hear about accepting families who can be open and talk about these things.

    Congratulations and Happy Birthday.
     
  19. Bastion

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    Very nice. Congrats and happy belated Birthday.