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My sister was baptized today.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ianthe, Mar 30, 2013.

  1. Ianthe

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    My sister is marrying a Catholic. They are having a GIANT Catholic wedding. I am going to be her maid of honor. In order to have the giant Catholic wedding, my sister is converting to Catholicism, and her baptism was today.

    My sister isn't homophobic, and her fiance and his family are very nice. But I am feeling very weird about the part where I will be taking part in a ritual of a religion that calls me intrinsically disordered, and whose leaders publicly refer to my potential marriage rights as a threat to world peace, and say that my adopting children would be abusive to them. A religion that is also a vast, wealthy international organization that actively campaigns against my rights.

    But, you know. She's my sister. So I don't feel like I can say no.
     
  2. Ticklish Fish

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    so... congrats?

    you guys have fun and eat all the cakes
     
  3. Wolfie Charm

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    I hate that part of religion. God isn’t guilt, He’s love. As far as the die-hards saying being gay is a choice of any sort, well that would be between each of us and our creator, not us and the ones who insist on shoving religion at us, now wouldn’t it? I give my polite “shut up” look when people start in lol.

    Have fun being a maid of honor!! :grin: Does your sister have the dress colors yet?
     
  4. Ianthe

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    She's letting everyone get different dresses. She wants it to be something we will wear again. It's a spectrum of colors from red to yellow. I'm wearing red.

    Catholic wedding ceremonies include mass, and are very long.
     
  5. Wolfie Charm

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    That’s so cool. Never seen a wedding where it was different colors. Lately the theme seems to be royal blue lol. I’ve seen pictures from my sister's recent wedding and someone else's and the men were dressed the same.

    Ooooh yes they are long. Agonizingly so. I can't sit still that long lol.
     
  6. myheartincheck

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    My thoughts exactly! :grin:

    Congrats to them! How wonderful!
     
  7. Parsley

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    They are indeed very long, but you don't get to just sit there. They want a guarantee you're still awake! So get ready to sit, then stand, then kneel, then repeat again and again through said long mass. You'll get a good workout and no chance to nod off. :lol:
     
    #7 Parsley, Mar 31, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2013
  8. adam88

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    I got to be a godfather, and had quite a few of the same problems as you did going into the ceremony. In my case, though, I was baptised, confirmed, the whole nine yards before rejecting the faith, so I can certainly act like a good Catholic when I have to - I just don't go up for communion. Thankfully, it was a small church with a priest that the family is close to (he gets invited to the after-party at my aunt's house) so nobody was really asking any questions.

    Thought I'd chime in with my experiences. :slight_smile:
     
  9. Ettina

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    My Dad's Catholic and he supports gay rights.

    Just because their leaders are stuck in the middle ages doesn't mean their followers have to be.
     
  10. steelygreye

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    Yeah, two of my friends are Catholic, and they both have no problem gay people. I just hope the new Pope will bring about some changes within the Church - it really does need some changes.
     
  11. Eleanor Rigby

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    Well, though Catholic Church feels like a massive homophobic organization, there are plenty of people among catholics that are perfectly fine with homosexuality, included among priests.
    I think it would be a good idea for your sister to tell the priest that is going to marry her that you're gay, that she's fine with this, and that there is no way any criticism toward homosexuals would be made during the wedding mass.
    I married my husband at church (we've both been raised catholic). Our priest was a long time friend we knew to be very open minded. There was several gay and bisexual people among our friends, some even came as couple, and I don't think anyone of them felt offended or left out by anything that was said during our mass.
    I think that the best thing you can do is to open up about your worries to your sister. And I'm sure everything will go just fine (*hug*)
    Cécile
     
  12. Aldrick

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    I know exactly how you feel. I was in my sister's wedding as well. It wasn't a Catholic wedding, but Southern Baptist - the religion we grew up in... and one that I rejected some years before. It's not really something you can back out of, and so the best thing you can do is just focus on your sister's happiness.

    However, I know the feeling. It's like a sense of self-betrayal. Since you're out, I recommend including something as part of your dress that speaks to your being an out and proud lesbian. Maybe a rainbow bracelet or something? Think of something you can include that will mark you as out and proud, this way as you stand with your sister before the altar, it's like a little rebellious stab in the eye of the Church. A small way to say, "I'm only here for her, and not you... and by the way I'm out, I'm proud, get over it."

    Oh, and for added rebelliousness, talk about how excited you'll be when gay marriage is legalized and you can get married just like your sister... and do it in earshot of the priest. :badgrin:
     
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