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My partner struggles to get hard

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by kresukun, Apr 18, 2021.

  1. kresukun

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    Hello. Been a while since I was last here but I need some advice.

    My partner of many years has been out of work for quite a while and I fear it is effecting his mental health and his ability to get physically intimate with me.

    He said he has tried pills to help but they don't seem to work.

    Because of this he feels like he's not satisfying me sexually and I think that that doesn't help him and his situation.

    I'm totally lost as to what to say or do. I can't just leave him to sort it out on his own; he needs me and I'm trying but nothing seems to work.

    I'm sorry this post is somewhat long but I hope someone can help. Thank you
     
  2. johndeere3020

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    Problems like your partners are not uncommon and very difficult to talk about. Speaking from personal issues. First I would talk to a therapist. Sometimes there are deep seated issues that can cause ED and talking with someone can help work them out. Second, there are different doses and medications to try so talk he should talk with his primary, or GP. Sometimes current medications such as blood pressure or depression meds can cause ED as well so another reason to talk with his GP. In addition there are shots that can be used in the base of the penis to constrict the chambers that the blood flows into. They are uncomfortable to say the least. There is also a med that is inserted in the penis, it was explained to me like a grain of rice, that causes the chambers to constrict as well. It was like $75.00 per dose. US healthcare is totally screwed so I am sure it is cheaper in the UK.

    As a last resort there is something called IPP surgery which is what I had. It is very, very uncomfortable. If all other options do not work I will tell you more in a message sent trough one of the advisors. EC's general members might not want to hear about stitches in the privates.

    Dean
     
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  3. kresukun

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    Thank you for replying.

    I'll probably get him to see his GP; or a video call whatever it is they're doing in these times.

    Also that surgery sounds expensive; looked it up and could cost £7500.
     
  4. johndeere3020

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    53000.00 in the US. Cost 2500.00 out of pocket after insurance.
     
  5. kresukun

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    That is an insane price.

    A friend suggested yesterday that my partner should try some herbal anti depressants; and no I'm not talking about the green stuff. Whether that'll help I don't know, I fear it could just be a placebo effect
     
  6. Jared J

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    Sorry to hear about your problem. My current partner went through something similar and him not getting hard seemed to complicate things as he felt like a failure in bed and in life. I decided to temporarily remove sex from the equation. We did hot yoga and I gave him little tasks to do to feel productive. When we did attempt sex like 2 weeks later, I made it my mission to get him off quickly so he wouldn't lose his erection. It took like 30 seconds! He started to regain confidence and it has been ok since. I think he still worries though.
     
  7. SteveBi45

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    Stress plays a huge part in it. I think reassuring him that you love and support him is key. The idea of removing sex from the equation for a while is also a good idea.

    once he feels love and support from you it will help him.