As some of you may be aware, we are having our same-sex marriage postal survey here in Australia at the moment. Our family received our ballots yesterday although I hadn't opened mine yet. I came home from university today to have my mum tell me that she opened all of our family ballots, marked the 'yes' box, sealed the return envelopes and took them to the post office for them to be sent back. I don't know if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I'm really upset (maybe even devastated) that I didn't get to complete my own vote. Given everything I've been through in the past few years, it would've felt so symbolic ticking my own 'yes' box, sealing my own return envelope and walking to the post box to have it sent. I really feel like that moment has been robbed from me. I've tried speaking calmly to my mum about how I feel but she doesn't get it - she feels I should be grateful for the fact that she saved me a trip to the post office. It's done now, but I really don't know how to feel and what to do. I really don't think anything can be done, so maybe this can just be a big vent. Hopefully you'll understand.
Hey I get why you are frustrated. It's sad that's your mum doesn't understand but I guess she had the best intentions. I think it's fine to feel a bit annoyed about it for a bit as long as it doesn't drag too long. To be honest the sinking feeling I had when I read the title of your thread was that she had ticked the no box so I'm currently experiencing some light relief although I appreciate it doesn't help you.
You're not making a mountain out of a molehill and I can certainly understand your sense of frustration and anger because I would feel the same, but I just want to put an alternative slant on it for you, just to try to ease those hurt feelings. By opening all of the ballots (not just yours), marking each of them yes and posting them too, your mum is effectively saying THIS HOUSE is going to come down in favour of same sex marriage, come what may. In her own way your mum is making sure your entire family is doing the right thing and there is a lot to be said for that. Yes, it took something away from you and it was totally the wrong thing to do, but at the same time it demonstrates that she was having nobody in her home voting no, so there is a kind of positive to it, if you think about it that way .
Thanks for the replies. I decided to speak to my mum about it again, except instead of trying to be calm and rational in explaining how I was feeling, I actually showed her exactly how I was feeling. She said she got overexcited and wanted to respond to the survey right away - acknowledging that she didn't even think that I might feel the same way and thus want to do my own vote. I'll admit that it did make me feel a bit better getting the sense that she was sending in our votes with love, enthusiasm and pride. When I think about it, I'm not necessarily upset that I didn't get to open up my envelope, mark my own 'yes' box, seal the return envelope and post it off myself. I think I really just would've liked a moment to have seen that box on my ballet ticked 'yes' - even if my mum had opened the envelope, marked it for me and then offered to post if off as a favour. My mum swore on her life that she voted yes for us all, and I'd expect no less given what we've been through together, and I trust that's what she did. I think it's just that there's this tiny feeling of doubt that I don't even know what my vote looked like, which is a shame because not even two years ago my parents would have been voting no had there been a survey on the matter at the time. As I said though, it's done now, and there's nothing anyone can do except learn from the experience and try to move on.
I'm really glad you spoke to your mum again and that she acknowledged your hurt. Now we will just keep our fingers crossed for you for the result.
