My mom is pressuring me for grandchildren

Okay, let me just preface this by saying I couldn't be farthest from your situation... Im younger, nowhere near ready to have a child, and do in fact want children in the future.

Having said, I do idolize people who know what they want but must of all what they DON'T WANT. The reason I say this is because, while it isn't the case personally, I grew up surrounded by friends whose parents never wanted them... They were just another check in a "lifelong checklist" ready to be crossed off because "that's how it's supposed to go" you know??... And at the end of the day that's not fair... Not fair to the parents and most of all, not fair to the kids.

So I'll say this: yes, there's a very clear possibility she'll resent you and /or fight you on this till the day she goes to the grave BUT at the end of the day, THIS IS YOUR LIFE. You get to make the decisions, and if one of those decisions is 'not have kids' then don't do it (because at that point it's not just your life that's getting affected, it's also the kids whose mother won't want him/her)... And like you said, if you do end up wanting kids and feel like you have to remove yourself from your family or mother, you do it, as simple as that.
There's an expression in my language that my mom tells me on a daily basis "não deves satisfações a ninguém" which roughly translates to "you don't own satisfactions to no-one", and I think this applies here...

If she can't understand that having kids its a pretty big freaking deal that will affect the rest of your life (physically, emotionally, financially...) and an innocent child's life then that's her problem not yours.

Also, on an ending note, if it's becoming too much of an hassle, just remove her from your life entirely. I know sometimes that's easier said than done, but you're an adult and you get to choose who you let in your life...

And as my brother so eloquently likes to put it" You sure as hell don't owe anyone anything just because you came out of that vagina. "

 

Nobody has the right to force you to have children or not have them. In no small part because you and the child would be the ones living with that outcome day in and day out for the rest of your lives. (Who wants to be raised by someone who didn’t really want them and may or may not resent them?) If she was a good mother and you have a good relationship, you owe her things like some of your time, your love, and your respect. You don’t owe her living your life and making major life decisions to suit her.

 

No offense to your mom, but she's being incredibly selfish. Even if you were straight and in a heterosexual relationship, you still have the right to refuse to have children if that is what you wish. Sometimes I think people enjoy being with their grandparents so much as kids and see how much their grandparents enjoy being with them that half the reason they have kids is so they can eventually have grand kids.