My oldest grandkid...grandson is turning 17 in two days. I've been thinking a lot about that and what my life was like when I was 17. It was October and I had just been abandoned by my mother. My stepfather had just died in a car accident and I guess I don't really blame her too much now as she was dealing with a lot herself. My mom and dad had been divorced since I was 8 years old and I wouldn't see my dad until I was 32. I was in my first year of university and had collected everything I owned in two big boxes and just lived at school. That Christmas was brutal. Everybody in my dorm went home for Christmas and I just stayed there in the dorm by myself. I had known since I was around 8-10 years old that I was different than the other boys and at 17 years old was finally understanding what that meant. That made me even more isolated. I did eventually connect with a group of guys who were also gay and even met Tim, who became the love of my life until he died a few years later which devastated me and made me turn my back on my sexuality for the next 40 or so years.(another story entirely) Being gay at that age and everything that came after because of it...years of shame, and depression...trying to be straight when I wasn't until I finally accepted my sexuality at age 64. Would I want my grandson to go through all of that...NO! Of course things are different now, but it's still not always an easy road for gay kids...even gay adults. Of course I want the best for all of my grandkids and I want them to be able to be the person that they really are. I don't want them to have to hide their real self from society. But I have to be honest, their lives will be easier if they are straight. It' sad to say that. We have made a lot of progress, but it's still true. If they are queer I'll do everything I can to support and help them. I'll want them to be able to be out and proud, to be who they really are in public, but it will be harder for them if that happens. Like any loving grandfather (they call me poppop) I'll do everything I can, but it hurts my heart just to think of what they will have to go through if they are queer...it shouldn't be that way. But let's be honest, we have a long way to go. My thanks and gratitude go out to so many people, past and present, who have fought for LGBTQ rights, for those of us who are not straight to be treated like human beings worthy of love just like everyone else. I pray that someday that will be the norm, that who you love will not matter, that only the fact that you love them will be important. We're not there yet, so my thanks and my love goes out to everybody, past and present who are trying so hard to make love more important than the gender of the person that you love. .....David
Hugs. While I agree that being lgbt+ is hard, then I feel like it's even harder to just deny yourself and living double or triple life. I had more to write, but for now I leave it at that. It's too hard to put it into words, because I would just break down.
Thankfully, societal acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community has grown by leaps and bounds the past 10-15 years, and I don't see that forward progress slowing down any time soon. Will we ever see queer men and women viewed as completely equal members of society compared to heterosexuals? Maybe not in our lifetime (for those of us 50+), but for the millenials, I honestly believe we will. Eventually the vast majority of people will come to understand that gay/lesbian identity is not a choice, but it's an inherent and perfectly natural characteristic of a significant number of people worldwide.
You can be a positive person in their lives, teaching them that we all deserve equality and rights just like straight people. You can teach them to respect LGBTQ+ people and support our rights. Teach them about the Kinsey scale and how there are lots of bi people in the world, if everyone knew how many people are actually bi, it would help dispel the prejudice. Too many people still refuse to believe the truth that people don't choose their sexuality. I'd rather be straight too, it makes no sense for people to want to be gay and threats of bashing, that's not fun, so anyone who thinks it is a choice has no critical thinking or logic skills and I wouldn't trust anything from them. We don't learn to be gay, I can testify to that lol!
Deep breaths in. I calmed down now and am ready to write. Others have pretty much written already what I wanted to say. The thing is I wish that there were someone in my real life who I could talk to about lgbt+ topics. Even though some know about me, then they really don't understand me. Having an accepting and loving enviroment or accepting people at home or in your life makes all the difference and weights out the hardships that come with the territory of being lgbt+. Hiding that part of me from the people I love has been one of the hardest things. It's hard having to be silent, while others can talk about anything they like, withouth shame or fear or being silenced. It's all mentally exhausting and have only worsened my mental health. And you know how all of that is like as well.
