1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My Gay Friend Keeps Subtly Flirting With Me And I Don’t Like It

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by masterofnone, Jun 11, 2021.

  1. masterofnone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2021
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Mars
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Okay so as some of you may know i am straight with ocd fixated on sexuality. My friend who is still closeted but only came out to me keeps hitting on me. This makes me very uncomfortable (him hitting on me). Why does he do this? Does he think i’m gay? I read somewhere that gay guys only pursue and flirt with guys if they think they’re gay, is that true? I don’t think I should say something because I want my friend to be comfortable with his own sexuality but not with me, but at the same time it makes me uncomfortable when he is flirting with me. I think i’m the only person who knows he’s gay. What do I do? Someone help
     
    Lemony likes this.
  2. Lemony

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2020
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    138
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Just tell him that you care for him but not in that way.

    ”I support you, care for you and adore you but, just as friends, I do apologise if I gave you the wrong message. I just thought it was best to get that off my chest, I am here if you ever need to talk or anything. You mean a lot to me and I really want you to be happy.”
     
    Bastion, LilLady9 and masterofnone like this.
  3. masterofnone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2021
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Mars
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    thank you for the help :slight_smile:
     
    Lemony likes this.
  4. Lemony

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2020
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    138
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people

    Anytime:relaxed:
     
    LilLady9 likes this.
  5. LilLady9

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2021
    Messages:
    607
    Likes Received:
    193
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First, please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt.

    I don't think that's true. Yes, gay guys pursue men that they think are gay and men that are gay, but they also pursue straight men, bisexual men, etc. In fact, I've heard a lot about gay men really liking straight men and bisexual men, for whatever reason. I'm sure there are a few reasons. As a bisexual male myself, I've had quite a few gay men show extreme interest in me, almost as if I'm being fetishized (which I personally don't mind and kind of turns me on. I mean my name is BiBoyToy after all, haha). I can't help but think of this as similar to a straight male and a female virgin. Perhaps gay men see straight men and bisexual men as inexperienced with men and somewhat 'fresh bait'.... If that makes sense....


    As far as your particular situation with your friend, I couldn't agree with @Lemony anymore.

    Again, please take what I have said with a grain of salt. I do not mean to offend anyone. If anyone can educate me on this topic I would be pleased.
     
    #5 LilLady9, Jun 11, 2021
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2021
    Bastion, Lemony and masterofnone like this.
  6. Ram90

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    394
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    If you don't mind my asking, @masterofnone, could you possibly expand on what your friend is doing? I understand, 'hitting on you', but considering you mentioned that they've come out to only you, I'm wondering if they're trying to behave like themselves (their true gay self) with you, since they're in the closet. I'm just trying to understand and mean no offense.
     
    Lemony likes this.
  7. masterofnone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2021
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Mars
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    just little comments here and there. i definitely think he’s trying to behave like himself and since i’m the only one who knows that’s why i don’t really want to rain on his parade. but it also makes me uncomfortable as i’m not interested. did he come out to me only and do these things because he thinks i’m gay too? i’m worried he thinks i’m going to reciprocate one day? i could never imagine being romantic or sexual with him but he is a good friend which is why i don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him less comfortable with himself
     
  8. Bastion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    188
    Location:
    North America
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I agree with @Lemony on this on. Just be clear and explain to him in a nice way. That you are not interested in him in that way. That you see him more as a friend.
     
  9. WindyMom

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2021
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    be honest with him, but maybe perhaps he is like that with everyone