he doesnt care about my family anymore, all he cares about is God, he keeps trying to tell me what im doing (being trans) is wrong, but i try to tell him he doesnt know what is on God's mind, i say that he made me this way for a reason, but he doesnt care. just now on the way home in the car it was just me and him, he starts the conversation with, "dont get mad" and then say things like, "if i drove on the left side of the road, what would happen?" so i say "you would crash, unless you were careful, you can go on the left side when the yellow lines are dashed, and some streets dont have a line so you can drive wherever you want." he goes, "light (pointing to the right), dark (pointing to the left), which side are you on?" i go "well right now we are in the light, its dark over there and thats where we are going (pointing to a shadow)." it goes back and forth, him giving stupid examples, and me giving completely correct answers, and he gets mad and starts yelling at me and we get home, i go inside, he continues to yell at me, then hes yelling at my family, i go downstairs to my room, he stays up there yelling at them, saying how im driving him mad because God made me a smart boy and that im destroying all of my life (which i dont understand, im still smart, just not a boy) and that im doing wrong. he made my sister cry because he was yelling about how hes going crazy, my mom had to yell at him to get him to stop, i dont want to go upstairs for dinner, why does he have to be like this, why cant he think about the family, he says that im going down a path a destruction, yet hes the one destroying everything, hes crazy, he said that he wants to throw and break things, i dont know if he did, i dont want to go upstairs to check, im going to lock my door, i dont want to go to school tomorrow, why cant he just think about the family for two seconds, all he seems to care about is God...
Firstly, I'm so so sorry he would say something like that to you. Know that his anger is his fault, it's absolutely not your fault that any of this is happening. It's fucked up that he would care more about his belief in god than his own daughter. You handled this really well, I would of became really enraged so good job keeping your cool. You being transgender is not a bad thing, nor is it something you chose! You're beautiful and what your dad thinks can't and won't change that. I hope things change with him. Make sure you take care of yourself first and foremost. Do what you need to do for you. Sending love and good vibes your way
th-thank you so much, you saying this has made my day so much better, when i first read: i smiled and didnt know why, i read it again and started to cry, because, hes never once used any female pronouns to describe me, and the fact that someone from the internet does just made me cry. im not upset, i just wanted to thank you for saying all this, im bad at wording my emotions, but it was a good cry, if that makes sense, so, thank you
