So I kind of realized I was bisexual like last year. Im 13 and a female. Im scared to tell my mom the most because she's a hardcore christian. My step-dad is homophobic which sucks. My grandma would understand because she asked me if I liked girls before and she said its okay if I do. I just need advice on if I should come out or not.
Hello @livia ! Welcome to EC! Bisexuality is complex. And not something that many parents can relate to. I would just say that your sexuality is your own. Nobody can define it for you because ONLY YOU can actually KNOW what it is. In terms of Coming Out to your parents - or anyone else, I would simply suggest that you try to better understand yourself first.. ONLY Come Out when you feel comfortable doing so. There is no "right" or "wrong" time. You have to do what you feel is right for you. Many of us find that first Coming Out to someone (or multiple people close to us) is the best way to go. Because they provide a support base for us, regardless of the reaction of our close family members, My ultimate advice is: Do what you have to do in order to just keep being the 'real' you. But please remember that keeping your thoughts about your sexuality to yourself in the meantime is simply about privacy - certainly about NOT lying or being dishonest. My 2cents.
livia.....Hello and welcome to empty closets! In the next few years you are going to learn a lot about yourself. Your body and mind will mature. What you would say to your parents today will probably be different than what you would want to say in 3-4 years. That doesn't mean that I think you aren't Bi. As long as your parents are non-accepting and you know that there will be changes, I see no good reason to come out to them right away. Give yourself time to come to know yourself better, to understand better how you feel and to have experiences (I don't mean sex! ) that will help you better find yourself on the sexuality spectrum. As @Quantumreality said, bisexuality is complex. If you were to come out to your parents right now and they didn't just jump down your throat about it, they would probably have a lot of questions. Do you think you are ready to answer all those questions now? Most likely you have those very same questions yourself at the moment! So take time to ask questions here...but be careful of your computer/phone use!! In relation to that I like to suggest something to folks who are worried about coming out to their parents. Take some time and decide now what to say if, by chance, they find something and ask why you are looking at this "stuff". Not some crazy "made-up" story...but something that will put to rest their fears/concerns. Such as, "I heard some kids talking about this and I wanted to know what they meant". Just something plain that will deflect their suspicion from you. If they directly ask if you if you think that you are gay/bi...you might say; "I'm too young to know that". They will agree pretty quickly to that one! If those ideas don't feel good to you then work on some of your own that you think your parents would accept. Preparing in advance for those kind of "panic" questions could save you a lot of problems! There are some other people here on empty closets about the same age as you that I sometimes exchange messages with. I'll let them know about your post and see if they'd like to "talk" to you. In the meantime...stay with us here on EC. Keep us updated and we will do our best to help you! .....David
Hi Livia!!! Let me introduce myself: My name is Nate, I'm 14, and I'm gay. I was in your shoes too, but this site has helped me a lot with coming out advice. First of all, feel no rush to come out. This is your thing, and if you don't feel comfortable telling your parents, then don't! I'd wait until you are financially stable so that you can support yourself if the worst case scenario comes about, your parents completely cut you off. As for your grandma, I'd start there. She has already shown that she would be accepting of you, and that's fantastic! But once again, feel no pressure. Feel free to put a message on my board and we can talk more.
Hey there! First of all, congrats on being so self aware at such a young age. You must very mature to realize this about yourself. I am sorry about your mom and stepfather. You don't have to come out to them if you don't want, it's okay to keep this private if you feel they wouldn't take it well. You said your grandmother is okay with it, would you feel comfortable confiding in her? Would she tell your parents? If you don't want to tell anyone in real life you have all of us here who want to help you.
